Kayla Stanley

I aint no follow back girl.

[Kayla Stanley @KaylaNotStanley]

Adult status: forgot to put on deodorant so I just febrezed myself in the bathroom. @Febreze_Fresh @Dove

[Kayla Stanley @KaylaNotStanley]

Today sucked.

*add to cart*

[Kayla Stanley @KaylaNotStanley]

My husband keeps calling me a lesbian camp counselor.

[Kayla Stanley @KaylaNotStanley]

It’s pay day? Fine. Take me to the nice Dollar General.

[Kayla Stanley @KaylaNotStanley]

Sitting in my car.
I don’t want to go inside.
There’s work in there.

[Kayla Stanley @KaylaNotStanley]

Painting my toenails cured my seasonal depression for 15 minutes.

[Kayla Stanley @KaylaNotStanley]

How did I land on bank teller tik tok?

[Kayla Stanley @KaylaNotStanley]

Life hack:
When I’m annoyed my husband, I put on my Alan Jackson “hoochie coochie” T-shirt. It’s hard to argue with someone wearing that. @OfficialJackson #RelationshipAdvice

[Kayla Stanley @KaylaNotStanley]

The fact that I found love and got married was not very on brand for me. I kinda give myself the ick.

[Kayla Stanley @KaylaNotStanley]

Not being able to open this bottle of lemonade was almost my 13th reason.

[Kayla Stanley @KaylaNotStanley]

Made a killer bacon, egg and cheese this morning. 🤙🏻

[Kayla Stanley @KaylaNotStanley]

Everyone keeps turning off my rock tumbler like they don’t know I’m hanging on by a thread.

[Kayla Stanley @KaylaNotStanley]

I just rearranged the bedroom because the outlets are all in stupid places. Can’t wait for my husband to get home.

[Kayla Stanley @KaylaNotStanley]

My husband is wonderful in so many ways.
But why can’t he make rice?

[Kayla Stanley @KaylaNotStanley]

In my Kidz Bop era.

[Kayla Stanley @KaylaNotStanley]

Do you guys cry then eat your lunch, or eat your lunch then cry?

[Kayla Stanley @KaylaNotStanley]

I haven’t been to therapy in a while, but I do catch an episode of Bluey occasionally. #Bluey

[Kayla Stanley @KaylaNotStanley]

Shania Twain: 🎶Don't be absurd, you know I want you
Don't be impossible🎶
5 year old: 🎶Don’t be a turd…
@ShaniaTwain

[Kayla Stanley @KaylaNotStanley]

While putting on makeup, a four year old asked if I was turning back into the “real Kayla”. Stay humble.

[Kayla Stanley @KaylaNotStanley]

My AirPods are dead. Think I’ll just call it a day.

[Kayla Stanley @KaylaNotStanley]

I really only care if my future step son thinks my wedding is cool. He’s 4.