Krista Dornbusch

[Krista Dornbusch @Kdornbusch]

@kristenlr_ Soon!! 💜💜

[Krista Dornbusch @Kdornbusch]

@blairlabrie1 Yes

[Krista Dornbusch @Kdornbusch]

“Come over for dinner, I have stories” say no more best text I’ve gotten in weeks 😂

[Krista Dornbusch @Kdornbusch]

My best friends little cousin looks at me and says “hey didn’t you date a gay furry” Yupp ok guess that’s common knowledge now #welcometotheshitshow #shouldhaveguessed #fuckmeright

[Krista Dornbusch @Kdornbusch]

Yesterday my best friend called me her “emotional support animal” since I went with her to a family function #thanksiguess #woof

[Krista Dornbusch @Kdornbusch]

If you ever wondered what kind of person I am, I told my 9 yr old niece on the weekend that the Easter Bunny and Santa aren’t real and the cats she gave me were dead 🤷🏼‍♀️🙈 #whoops

[Krista Dornbusch @Kdornbusch]

Who the fuck decided carrot cake was the universal cake to have at large gatherings #itstrash #probablythesameassholethatmade2dayweekends

[Krista Dornbusch @Kdornbusch]

When you have the bladder of a small frightened 5 year old girl and no one has bathrooms open because of covid 😒 #legitalmostpeedmypants

[Krista Dornbusch @Kdornbusch]

“I’d rather sit on the toilet for half an hour get a hemorrhoid and interact with that for 2 hours than interact with you guys” #shitmycoworkerssay #apparentlyweremean

[Krista Dornbusch @Kdornbusch]

The excuses people come up with to call in now because being “sick” isn’t an option. #sunburn #mymomhasmytruck #ineedanap #mygrandmadiedagainforthesixthtime

[Krista Dornbusch @Kdornbusch]

Last week everyday someone either called in or went home “stressed” we will now be taking bets to see how long these pussies will last #growup #youwereliterallydoingnothing

[Krista Dornbusch @Kdornbusch]

“When you sell your car....” lemme stop you right there, I’m dying in that thing #onlythingthatbringsmejoy

[Krista Dornbusch @Kdornbusch]

“What two continents are separated by the euro mountain range” Europe and that Asian one.......yeah that Asian one it’s probably not Asia or anything 😂 #familygamenight #trivialpursuit #notthebrightest

[Krista Dornbusch @Kdornbusch]

Coworker snapped today, screamed at the boss and punched a hole in the wall, 1 day suspension, I write “kassity takes it in the butt” on a already vandalized wall, 2 day suspension. That doesn’t seem fair 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Krista Dornbusch @Kdornbusch]

My new favourite phrase “this is an absolute clown town” mostly because “this is straight loony tunes” was taken

[Krista Dornbusch @Kdornbusch]

“Why are your cats named after death machines” well because they are death machines #apache #kamikaze

[Krista Dornbusch @Kdornbusch]

Mom “ I bought your cats a toy, i don’t think it came with batteries” “mom I’m single af of course I have batteries” #singlelife

[Krista Dornbusch @Kdornbusch]

“Sorry I’m late, I had to go take some stuff to my grandpa, he has a porn addiction” #shitmyfriendssay #excusemewhat #pleaseelaborate

[Krista Dornbusch @Kdornbusch]

@hauling_auss Just your stalker

[Krista Dornbusch @Kdornbusch]

@hauling_auss You miss me let’s be real