Thomas Kearnes

I’m 43 and work as an English tutor in suburban Houston. My first collection of short fiction, “Texas Crude,” recently released from Lethe Press.

[Thomas Kearnes @KearnesThomas]

@davidsn42505120 hey there, David

[Thomas Kearnes @KearnesThomas]

@TheTrueAmerica5 Promises, promises...

[Thomas Kearnes @KearnesThomas]

I loved writing this story!

[TIMBER @TimberJournal]

"It was the cheapest motel on the beltway."

If you're feeling some fiction this week, check out "Actual Miles" by Thomas Kearnes (@KearnesThomas) on TIMBER's Summer 2019 issue!

https://t.co/gMDG4jTYd7

[Thomas Kearnes @KearnesThomas]

And not a single witness lost themselves in hysterical laughter. Very disconcerting...

[Kathy Griffin @kathygriffin]

Wow he really said that. It’s not even a Freudian slip. It’s just Freudian. #SniffyMcAdderall

[K. Freek @solomonfreek13]

😍

[Thomas Kearnes @KearnesThomas]

@AOC Well put, ma’am

[Thomas Kearnes @KearnesThomas]

@MysterySolvent @HobieAnthony The moral abyss just deepens and deepens every time this tangerine trainwreck tweets or speaks.

[Thomas Kearnes @KearnesThomas]

@kathyfish “Mister Monkey,” a linked-story collection by Francine Prose

[Thomas Kearnes @KearnesThomas]

So, um, can you not edit your own tweets once posted? I’m still a Twitter newbie.

[Thomas Kearnes @KearnesThomas]

I never manage to finish nonfiction books, even when the topic fascinated me. A New Yorker in-depth investigative article is about all to which I can reliably commit. 😞

[Thomas Kearnes @KearnesThomas]

My short story, “I Married a Lunatic,” will be featured in the next issue of Foglifter, the queer lit-mag and Lambda Literary Award nominee

[Thomas Kearnes @KearnesThomas]

'Saturday Night Live' boss Lorne Michaels fought to air 'Schweddy Balls' early in the show https://t.co/aci25cUXXQ

[Thomas Kearnes @KearnesThomas]

@kellee_kim

[Thomas Kearnes @KearnesThomas]

The moment never leaves us, it is we who leave the moment.

[Thomas Kearnes @KearnesThomas]

@BernieSanders Yes

[Thomas Kearnes @KearnesThomas]

@chrisricewriter Sex and the City

[Thomas Kearnes @KearnesThomas]

@WoobieTuesday Her 35th birthday can’t get here fast enough.

[Thomas Kearnes @KearnesThomas]

Here's my latest story. Enjoy.

[Thomas Kearnes @KearnesThomas]

@rgay I love that your GIF is from Big Brother.

[Thomas Kearnes @KearnesThomas]

@chipfranklin @solomonfreek13 @realDonaldTrump Actually, Chip, he might very well have been high. Surely, you’ve heard the Adderall rumors.