I see things. I keep quiet about them. And somehow, that's both the heaviest and the most honest way I know how to exist. They call it being Wallflower.
Pure Awareness is true intelligence, it means seeing reality exactly as it is, without filtering it through personal bias, past trauma, or preconceived labels.
Just waking up in a quiet town, grocery shopping like it's a ritual, walking home with sunlight on your face, not needing to explain your silence to anyone
I romanticize the idea of disappearing. There's a strange kind of peace in starting over somewhere no one expects anything from u. Not ur past self, not ur family, not ur old classmates who still think u'r the same person from ten years ago.
The fact that u had feelings means u’r alive but life doesn’t stop for anyone. U live for urself. pour all that love into urself. fill ur own cup. the best relationship u can ever have is the relationship u have with urself.
There was nothing wrong with u for having feelings. like Ethan Hawke said, “the one who's in love always wins. it doesn't matter if you get your heart broken. you're living. when you're feeling, you're alive!” it’s true.
Dating in your mid-30s is funny because u’r no longer looking for someone to complete your life… u’r just trying to find someone who doesnt complicate the peaceful life u’ve already built.
I've been stunned for a while after reading this from someone's article and damn, this really hit me hard.
"The most magnetic people are never bored. They are busy becoming."
Humans crave deep connection, yet fear being truly seen. We want intimacy, but intimacy requires vulnerability, and vulnerability comes with the risk of rejection.
The older I get, the more I understand why people disappear into gardening, baking, reading, and long walks. Not bcs life got boring.
Bcs peace became valuable.