Keeper Keeper Pumpkin Eater

she/her💐22🌷your granny wants to be me🌹granola woowoo treehugger🪻your favorite tradwife’s least favorite slow liver🪷ocd🌺adhd🌸fashionista (terminal)🌻queer

[Keeper Keeper Pumpkin Eater @Keeperbsqqueen]

I only rejoined this app because I want to see the tweets of the secular hijab accessory person

[Keeper Keeper Pumpkin Eater @Keeperbsqqueen]

Also beans are a high FODMAP food in general so millions of people have issues with them (fellow IBS warriors)

[🇭🇹 ayiti libre! 🇭🇹 @evenmoredan]

fun fact, ~1 in 10 black men and ~1 in 15 black women in the US have a disorder that dissolves their blood cells when they eat fava beans. broad medical advice says to avoid legumes in general bc of cross-contamination in processing. imagine trying to be vegan without legumes

[GabeEsque @ThatsTheDuke]

How it feels as a cis guy when my feed is 90% trans women infighting

[Keeper Keeper Pumpkin Eater @Keeperbsqqueen]

@basedchaser177 The good ending

[Keeper Keeper Pumpkin Eater @Keeperbsqqueen]

@viersys I love his piercing setup so bad PLEASE let him know this

[Keeper Keeper Pumpkin Eater @Keeperbsqqueen]

@markamatony We have plenty of humiliation rituals it’s just that none of them have to do with the illuminati

[Keeper Keeper Pumpkin Eater @Keeperbsqqueen]

@clockyGoddess Thought I was getting a hairy woman OC to soothe my weary hairy woman soul and it’s a radfem. Fuck my fucking chungus life!!!!

[Keeper Keeper Pumpkin Eater @Keeperbsqqueen]

@toby_is_typing I’ve rejoined Twitter after like a million years and it has become such a hotspot for the world’s strangest identity combos. Like if you had told me “Keeper, there’s trans girls that ID as klansmen on the bird app” I’d be like “wtf are you talking about?” And yet here they are

[Keeper Keeper Pumpkin Eater @Keeperbsqqueen]

The troops at Dunkin brew my sanity and serve it to me with sugar-covered hands and a smile. They should be paid as much as doctors.

[The Dude Abides @hou96862]

I find it hard to believe that people who make coffee believe they are owed a salary that allows them to raise a family, buy a house, cars and exotic vacations.
They make coffee!

[Diana 🍎 @nermalicious2]

Does anyone else have trauma that's objectively kind of funny

[Keeper Keeper Pumpkin Eater @Keeperbsqqueen]

@LonesomeCowpoke Extra exposure therapy: My sister has Fahr’s disease

[Keeper Keeper Pumpkin Eater @Keeperbsqqueen]

@LonesomeCowpoke Exposure therapy: I eat too much dairy and get kidney stones

[Keeper Keeper Pumpkin Eater @Keeperbsqqueen]

@prettyalbatross Usually I’m like “kill all queer discourse” but I fear this joking reply has brought back label discourses that we haven’t seen since Tumblr

[Keeper Keeper Pumpkin Eater @Keeperbsqqueen]

@prettyalbatross “He is still pansexual but can’t date me if I transition” so… A poser?

[Keeper Keeper Pumpkin Eater @Keeperbsqqueen]

I should’ve known better to post a selfie on this app, I’m gonna wake up to some guy in my replies calling me a sneehog whoosiewhatsit. A franglemaxxing chubmiester. An inaccurately-aligned snarfbreather.

[Keeper Keeper Pumpkin Eater @Keeperbsqqueen]

@ClearlyKut My work pfp is literally just this

[Keeper Keeper Pumpkin Eater @Keeperbsqqueen]

@Yankeesfantwt @prettyalbatross The only acceptable scenario tbh

[Keeper Keeper Pumpkin Eater @Keeperbsqqueen]

Pass the controller

[20Teisha*⛧ @20Teisha]

hinge be like

[Keeper Keeper Pumpkin Eater @Keeperbsqqueen]

@_that_dummass_ My type is so specific for all genders that I’m bordering on aroace lmao

[Keeper Keeper Pumpkin Eater @Keeperbsqqueen]

@purrlaaa @ClearlyKut Thank you :)

[Keeper Keeper Pumpkin Eater @Keeperbsqqueen]

Things people say before getting a loan for a brand new boat-sized car that they will eventually flip during a road rage incident on the highway

[Keeper Keeper Pumpkin Eater @Keeperbsqqueen]

Well? Are you gonna wallow over bad humor or are you gonna help push the bean 7 inches to the left?

[Richard Peebles @RickyPeebs]

I hate this type of humor so much

[Keeper Keeper Pumpkin Eater @Keeperbsqqueen]

@lesbkian Scissoring defense? I’m home