Kelly Maxwell

Just a chick in search of a flamethrower. Currently serving up Deadite—thinly sliced. RP-18+/MC @EvilDeadRP #GhostBeaters #AshVsEvilDead #PottyMouth

[Kelly Maxwell @Kelly2DaMAXwell]

*In my best demonic voice*

"Heyyyy Ashleyyyy. Wanna get wasted and read a boooook? Dumbasssss?"

[Kelly Maxwell @Kelly2DaMAXwell]

@SrMcChin Well, light the menorah!

[Kelly Maxwell @Kelly2DaMAXwell]

@SrMcChin It’s what I do. I blame my big ‘ol heart.”

[Kelly Maxwell @Kelly2DaMAXwell]

@SrMcChin Whoa. And just like that—boom. Here I am.

[Kelly Maxwell @Kelly2DaMAXwell]

@SrMcChin Nope. On a related note, looks like Kelly’s not around.

[Kelly Maxwell @Kelly2DaMAXwell]

And instantly every short member of the furry fandom trembled in fear.

[₳Ł₳₴₮ØⱤ @BRXADCASTING]

Fuck yeah GhostBeaters

[Kelly Maxwell @Kelly2DaMAXwell]

Fuck you #AvengersInfinityWar. Fuuuuuuck youuuuuuuuuu! 🖕🏻😭

[Kelly Maxwell @Kelly2DaMAXwell]

@SrMcChin “You find a way to pay for the next round and I’ll find a way to hold in my laughter at that comment.”

[Kelly Maxwell @Kelly2DaMAXwell]

@SrMcChin “Oh fuck you, Ash. Like you haven’t had any experience with the whole possession shit. Yeaaaah, I did it for shits and giggles. Pablo, too. We just love that shit. It’s like cocaine!”

[Kelly Maxwell @Kelly2DaMAXwell]

@SrMcChin “For /my/ sake? Do you honestly think there’s anything you can say that would shock me? Ash, I’ve been around you for awhile now. I waved bye bye to virgin ears looooong ago.”

[Kelly Maxwell @Kelly2DaMAXwell]

@SrMcChin “Okay. A light socket with one of those titty nightlights? Better?”

[Twisted Chase @twisted_chase]

@Kelly2DaMAXwell

[Kelly Maxwell @Kelly2DaMAXwell]

@SrMcChin “You’d do that anyway! And no way I’m sleeping with a guy for beer, Ash. What the fuck? I mean, a new car /maybe/, but that shit better be a 2018, four wheel drive /something/. You’d stick your dick in a barely functioning light socket for the thrill.”

[Kelly Maxwell @Kelly2DaMAXwell]

@SrMcChin She leans in, listening to Ash’s warped little plan and casts a raised brow glance back at the bartender.

“Are you serious right now? Are you—“

And cue the polite, fake smile.

“You ass.”

[Kelly Maxwell @Kelly2DaMAXwell]

@SrMcChin “Well that’s rude as fuck, but somehow I’ll live another day.”

Kelly’s eyes nearly roll right out of her damn skull.

“Well...I’ll leave you and Mary to it.”

[Kelly Maxwell @Kelly2DaMAXwell]

@SrMcChin “Because without me you wouldn’t have gotten even /one/ beer. Plus, I think you just love my company. I get that a lot.”

[Kelly Maxwell @Kelly2DaMAXwell]

@SrMcChin “We /are/ cool. I bought you a beer. But I’m not exactly rollin’ in Benjamins, dude. You know how this goes; mo money, mo drinky. No money...”

Shrug.

[Kelly Maxwell @Kelly2DaMAXwell]

@SrMcChin She quickly shoots a hand out to the bartender.

“Nope. It’s a one beer night for ‘ol Senior McChin, here. Unless, of course, he’s suddenly come into some money in the last fifteen minutes?”

[Kelly Maxwell @Kelly2DaMAXwell]

@SrMcChin “Why does that always sound so /wrong/ coming from you? You know, you and your ‘poker’ are kinda responsible for the evil shit going down, right? Might wanna chill on the blue pill for a bit.”

[Kelly Maxwell @Kelly2DaMAXwell]

@SrMcChin “Correction,” she begins, taking her glass in one hand, “that’s why /you/ can’t have nice things on /my/ bill.”

Kelly quickly downs her drink, turning to look back at the rest of those in attendance.

“Awww, man. But poking evil is so damn fun.”