kelly robbins

[kelly robbins @KellyARobbins]

Thank fuck it's Friday #TFIF

[kelly robbins @KellyARobbins]

My twitter makes me seem like a thirsty, overweight, 20-something with a drinking problem..welp..#cheers

[kelly robbins @KellyARobbins]

What's a Thursday without a dirty martini #getinmymouthhole

[kelly robbins @KellyARobbins]

Raise your glass if the only thing going in your mouth tonight is a a bottle of wine 🍷🖐🏼

[kelly robbins @KellyARobbins]

My favorite is when the Uber driver plays NPR #TURNUP #5STARS

[kelly robbins @KellyARobbins]

@CTpowerlifter49 WOAH hahah I haven't logged into Twitter in a month! I'll do better!!!!

[kelly robbins @KellyARobbins]

@CTpowerlifter49 HEY! under a lot of stress right now! Twitter it slackin ;(

[kelly robbins @KellyARobbins]

@briancreegan TOP RIGHT DOE

[kelly robbins @KellyARobbins]

TOP RIGHT DOE

[Jenny Johnson @JennyJohnsonHi5]

Show me a woman in a Tweety Bird t-shirt and I'll show you a woman who shoplifts in the grocery store.

[kelly robbins @KellyARobbins]

Had to do the 'bend and snap' with a nipper of Svedka and an Arby's receipt bc it's all I had on me. I hope he's into it, fingers crossed!!

[kelly robbins @KellyARobbins]

I like to start my mornings off with a nice coffee and bus full of kids giving me the finger #youwereadopted

[kelly robbins @KellyARobbins]

@DperiodMoore and by beach you mean Wadsworth Falls

[kelly robbins @KellyARobbins]

The 'Moe's - Chipotle' debate has ended more marriages than adultery

[rob delaney @robdelaney]

Sex is like pizza; put it in my ass.

[Jenny Johnson @JennyJohnsonHi5]

Neighbor kid came over all upset. He asked me if I knew what "irreconcilable differences" meant. I said, "It means it's all your fault."

[kelly robbins @KellyARobbins]

Totally Wolf of Wallstreeted my way home last night #qualudes

[Jenny Johnson @JennyJohnsonHi5]

If y'all don't give your dad a framed photo of yourself holding a dead fish for Father's Day, go ahead and flush your face down the toilet.

[kelly robbins @KellyARobbins]

Bouta Kirstie Ally this sandwich platter for 2 #FirstDayofSummer

[kelly robbins @KellyARobbins]

Growing up means replacing going to soccer practice with drinking dirty martinis with *your bitch* until you both pass out in the bathtub