Kelly Florence

Don't do as I say or as I do. My preferred pronoun is "y'all."

[Kelly Florence @KellyFlorenceE]

@Austen @gauntletai Validatr: an app that helps you optimize your dating apps by looking at your photos/text inputs and suggesting improvements for your profile. Using a model trained on your texts, it can help create “real you” profile responses. It can also help coach messaging with matches.

[Kelly Florence @KellyFlorenceE]

@Austen @gauntletai Create a photo-based app that can create entry-level diagnostics for common skin conditions on the face such as acne, rosacea, and perioral dermatitis with quick recommendations for how to treat using only drugstore products.

[Kelly Florence @KellyFlorenceE]

If you really like wearing short sleeve button downs with a tie but you aren’t Mormon, @united Airlines has one of the most comprehensive pilot training programs in the industry.

#aviation #flighttraining #pilot #flight

[Kelly Florence @KellyFlorenceE]

“In addition, we will be testing the fidelity of space underpants on someone who is not expected to have full command of their own faculties.”

[Kelly Florence @KellyFlorenceE]

If I were to have a @SpaceX crew dragon mission, I would name my dragon “Defiance” and my mission would be called “Mischievous Horizon”

[Kelly Florence @KellyFlorenceE]

“For this mission, we are testing sending someone wholly unqualified to space. I’m Mission Specialist Kyle and I’m currently unemployed. I trained for space at six flags with a bunch of LSD.”

[Kelly Florence @KellyFlorenceE]

The easiest way to neutralize a Karen is the classic “ok, meemaw.”

[Kelly Florence @KellyFlorenceE]

@AMAZlNGNATURE One is from the alligator region of France. The other is just sparkling reptile.

[Kelly Florence @KellyFlorenceE]

@SnappinTurluh @taylorswift13 Dude you should sell this as a course.

[Kelly Florence @KellyFlorenceE]

@SnappinTurluh Ok, my theory is that “Champagne Problems” is actually a reversed-role retelling of her proposing to Matty and him saying No. I wouldn’t have put it past her to try….

[Kelly Florence @KellyFlorenceE]

@LaRochePosayUSA sent me the wrong order and has FAILED to refund me after I returned it to them. NEVER shopping with them online again.

[Kelly Florence @KellyFlorenceE]

@BryanECano @rikin311 @themarkwagner Yes we will be changing this soon ;)
Hoping to sink my teeth in next week.

[Kelly Florence @KellyFlorenceE]

@swandane @rtralphy You’d think someone as committed to being an out of touch boomer as this would at least know what incontinence pads are.

[Kelly Florence @KellyFlorenceE]

@ivadixit #EmilyInParis created a new category of @netflix content consumption for me: Cringe Watching.

[Kelly Florence @KellyFlorenceE]

What in the Westeros Virginia hell did I just watch? #unclehusband #HouseOfTheDragonHBO

[Kelly Florence @KellyFlorenceE]

Let this be a lesson to everyone. Make sure your dragon’s password isn’t “12345.” #HouseOfTheDragonHBO

[Kelly Florence @KellyFlorenceE]

I don’t care what anyone says. @JimCantore is the ultimate #ManVsWild. @BearGrylls

[Kelly Florence @KellyFlorenceE]

@santiagomayer_ A “manstration” tracking app since you are “pre-manopausal”

[Kelly Florence @KellyFlorenceE]

Having watched all the #StarWars shows and movies (including the oft maligned Christmas Special), the only outstanding confusion I have in terms of the cinematic universe is where exactly “Space Balls” and subsequently “Planet of the Apes” falls in the chronology.

[Kelly Florence @KellyFlorenceE]

Took an @everly_well test today and managed to get 5 drops of blood in the 5 little circles on the test card they provided…. As well as all over much of the rest of the card, my bathroom counter, my shirt and two towels. Anyway, can’t wait to get my results!