kels10e

I am the remix to ignition

[kels10e @Kels10e]

@OfficialJackson hey just want to let you know I’m at your bar in Nashville and I requested Midnight in Montgomery and they acted like they didn’t hear me cuz they didn’t know it. I’m offended.

[bob saget @bobsaget]

The next iPhone should have butthole recognition.

[kels10e @Kels10e]

My patronus would actually definitely be all the guys from queer eye for the straight guy

[kels10e @Kels10e]

The only buds I need are my taste buds

[kels10e @Kels10e]

Why is there no drive thru pizza roll place

[kels10e @Kels10e]

I know that if I was presented the same situation I would also lock myself in an entertainment center to prove a point to a total stranger

[kels10e @Kels10e]

What kind of trees is toilet paper made out of

[kels10e @Kels10e]

The political parties really got the people by the balls this year, lets ensure we're not put in a situation such as this again

[kels10e @Kels10e]

One thing I do hope comes from this election is that this will inspire millennials to go into politics with the desire to change the system

[kels10e @Kels10e]

Oh my god..Donald Trump said something horrible demeaning & disrespectful?! Oh wait thats every time he talks. Why does this STILL shock ppl

[kels10e @Kels10e]

Next presidential debate idea: put a dog between Trump and Hilary, see who the dog goes to, elect the dog for president #Election2016

[kels10e @Kels10e]

What perfume am I wearing? Funny you ask! It's called 'I Dropped A Couple Of Fruit Loops Down My Shirt This Morning And Never Took Them Out'

[kels10e @Kels10e]

JUST NOTICED MIKEY FROM #KimmySchmidt WAS ALSO THE CATCALLER CONSTRUCTION WORKER IN #30ROCK #HOWBEAUTIFUL

[kels10e @Kels10e]

There is something truly awesome about going out to your own garden to get ingredients for dinner

[kels10e @Kels10e]

@jechele2203 no I'm just in KC unfortunately! Would've loved to see you guy an

[kels10e @Kels10e]

@LukeBryanOnline PLAY TAILGATE BLUES PLEASE! 5th year at your concert and still haven't heard it#killthelights @rach_hitt

[kels10e @Kels10e]

Yo @panerabread your Springfield, MO location just jipped me on my coffee. Half filled cup srsly?😤

[kels10e @Kels10e]

I put the pimp in pimples

[kels10e @Kels10e]

*In a park, a public park, near a baby shower, after a Pokémon runs away*
"TANGELLLLAAAAAAAA"- in the voice of Ja Rule in Fast and Furious

[kels10e @Kels10e]

"Mam are you alright?"
*piling tons of bear traps in my cart at lowes*
"NO IM NOT OK MY BOYFRIEND AND I ARE TRYING TO AGREE ON A PAINTCOLOR"