Laura Kemp

My thoughts

[Laura Kemp @KempLauraD]

Im in the exit row of the airplane and I just wanna know if im qualified to be here

[Laura Kemp @KempLauraD]

So you’re telling me there’s no sea animals with fur?

[Laura Kemp @KempLauraD]

That’s a pretty flat pistachio

[Laura Kemp @KempLauraD]

“I used to dip my fries in anything and everything. It started with ice cream and ended with a Shirley temple”
-Teagan

[Laura Kemp @KempLauraD]

NEVER floss teeth while driving. EXTREMELY dangerous.

[Laura Kemp @KempLauraD]

I’m basing every future decision off my magic 8 ball from now on

[Laura Kemp @KempLauraD]

“LinkedIn is how Seth Wickstrom dad slid into my dm’s”

[Laura Kemp @KempLauraD]

It’s been so long since ive gotten the wind knocked out of me

[Laura Kemp @KempLauraD]

“Are people having kids just to prove they aren’t virgins!?”
-Lyndy

[Laura Kemp @KempLauraD]

“The amount of times I’ve made out to Kung Fu Panda….”
-Lyndy

[Laura Kemp @KempLauraD]

“I heard pineapple causes miscarriages so I had pineapple on my pizza the other day”

[Laura Kemp @KempLauraD]

“Do you have gum?”

Brittany: “no you could just brush your teeth”

[Laura Kemp @KempLauraD]

“I have one pepto bismol left. U wanna split it?”
-Brittany

[Laura Kemp @KempLauraD]

*brittany runs over squirrel and calls it a him*
“Cause no girl would be dumb enough to run in front of me”

[Laura Kemp @KempLauraD]

“Am I the only one that likes Arbys?”
-Brittany

[Laura Kemp @KempLauraD]

Imagine having a kid and them growing up to be Kevin from the office

[Laura Kemp @KempLauraD]

I’m just trying to Uber eats a glass of milk

[Laura Kemp @KempLauraD]

My ice maker keeps making ice and it’s ovefflowing and stressing me out

[Laura Kemp @KempLauraD]

“Sophomore year I convinced the entire track team nebraska didn’t exist”
-Lyndy

[Laura Kemp @KempLauraD]

Currently under my bed working on my claustrophobia