Ken Finan

I'm just a Blue-Eyed Creative Personality

[Ken Finan @Ken3760]

@lights My wife gave me a shopping list and told me to go get the groceries. She didn't believe me when I told her the shopping cart wheels always lock whenever I go down the candy aisle 😯

[Ken Finan @Ken3760]

@lights "Fire In The Hole!" *BOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!*...A great way to get rid of ant nests! (Can't say the same for what's left of your backyard though)

[Ken Finan @Ken3760]

@lights I have to stop loaning co-workers my security pass to go to the washroom. Management thinks I have a urinary problem 😛

[Ken Finan @Ken3760]

“I don’t have a choice, Rose. I have to get you to safety.”

[Ken Finan @Ken3760]

@lights I hate working in this deli. Last month, the "Employee of the Month" was a ham & cheese sandwich 🥪

[Ken Finan @Ken3760]

@lights "...and they both lived happily ever after... until she discovered that mysterious ramp in the forest one day, and just KNEW she had to jump that sucker on her motorcycle *WHEEEEEE!!!!!* 😛

[Ken Finan @Ken3760]

"The heart dies a slow death, shedding each hope like leaves until one day there are none. No hopes. Nothing remains."

[Ken Finan @Ken3760]

@lights I recently tried this bacon flavoured lip-balm before going to work. Now all the dogs in the neighbourhood want to give me a kiss on the lips

[Ken Finan @Ken3760]

@lights My boss recently installed one of those 'Emergency Eye-Wash Bottles' at work yesterday...I swear I can see tiny little jellyfish, floating around inside it

[Ken Finan @Ken3760]

@lights My new girlfriend thought it was cute when her pet snake tried to swallow my finger (It's now up to my elbow) *HELP!* *HELP!* *HELP* 😮

[Ken Finan @Ken3760]

@lights "I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It...(Smell of Her Hairy Armpits...)" *WHOOOPS!*

[Ken Finan @Ken3760]

@lights "Come try our NEW "Club Chicken Surprise!" (What's the surprise?) "It comes Bone-In!" :'p

[Ken Finan @Ken3760]

@lights Driving Instructor from Holland, had to flunk his latest student in the driving exam. He kept tilting at windmills 🚗

[Ken Finan @Ken3760]

@lights I found an animated show on Netflix you'll really like, it's called "Disenchanted". You might see some of yourself in the lead character. 🫡

[Ken Finan @Ken3760]

"Lou, if you walk out of Wil's life now, don't you ever come back"

[Ken Finan @Ken3760]

@lights My boss really likes playing the lamest, cheesiest, worst music you can imagine on her computer while working. The worst part is? My girlfriend's developing the same taste in music 🎶

[Ken Finan @Ken3760]

@lights "I tell you, it's not easy going to the dentist every month." "Gee Ken, are your teeth that bad?" "Naw, I just like hearing how my dentist's new swimming pool is coming along. Sure it's just a coincidence" 😉

[Ken Finan @Ken3760]

"Dont cry baby. Knew this was one way ticket, but you know I had to come. Love you wife."

[Ken Finan @Ken3760]

@lights "...and my pronouns are they, them and Batman"

[Ken Finan @Ken3760]

@lights For yrs the food industry's been cutting back so much salt in processed foods & canned goods, I'm starting to look like that 'salt creature' from Star Trek 😶‍🌫️