AwkwardKenneth

don't really know what to say really, I guess this is goodbye. I hope you don't think I'm weird or anything, I don't know what to say, sorry. 🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️

[AwkwardKenneth @KennethAwkward]

I was the last one to leave the house for Christmas so I thought I’d give everyone a nice surprise when we got back. So I left the heating on 👍🏻

[AwkwardKenneth @KennethAwkward]

Quick update I got charged £1.95 for those extra onions

[AwkwardKenneth @KennethAwkward]

I asked for extra red onion at pizza express

[AwkwardKenneth @KennethAwkward]

Was talking to a guy with dwarfism last night and genuinely crouched down to his level while speaking to him

[AwkwardKenneth @KennethAwkward]

Don’t pull my leg hairs they’re really deep

[AwkwardKenneth @KennethAwkward]

Told someone to calm down... so they punched me 4 times, you probably didn’t know this cause I never talk about it

[AwkwardKenneth @KennethAwkward]

Squirted soap on my toothbrush!! Will someone please help put me to bed 😫

[AwkwardKenneth @KennethAwkward]

Liv got a big cardboard parcel... I binned it cause it was light

[AwkwardKenneth @KennethAwkward]

You can’t be a feminist if you’re bi though can you?

[AwkwardKenneth @KennethAwkward]

Ross said that the white raisins taste like Pinot which is weird cause I thought wine was made from grapes 🧐

[AwkwardKenneth @KennethAwkward]

Sneezed my drink out my nose and on to a girl we were dancing with last night... they stop dancing with us after that 🤷🏻‍♂️

[AwkwardKenneth @KennethAwkward]

I moaned about the big pile of washing up by the sink aaaaall week, then today I realised all of it is my washing up 🙄🤷🏻‍♂️

[AwkwardKenneth @KennethAwkward]

Seeing someone for ~3 weeks, then get drunk and forget their name 🤷🏻‍♂️ that’s me babes, if you don’t like it look elsewhere... what’s your number again?

[AwkwardKenneth @KennethAwkward]

Ham, as a name? Is Ham’s Mum a pig? 😂 Has Ham got a brother called Turkey? 😂😂 Is Ham’s Dad a sausage? 😂😂 hahahhahahahha why’s no one else laughing? If you put cheese with Ham does it make a ham & cheese sandwich? 😂😂😂

[AwkwardKenneth @KennethAwkward]

“I’m gonna come to the library soon, not in a gay way tho” 🧐

[AwkwardKenneth @KennethAwkward]

Needed the toilet, Ross was in the shower so asked him to get out but when I got in there there was no loo roll, it’s cool I’m not desperate yet so I’ll go back and chill and play more FIFA till I am desperate

[AwkwardKenneth @KennethAwkward]

Ross got his wrap wet so I went to dry it with toilet paper from the toilet but he didn’t like that 🤷🏻‍♂️ last time I try to help him out in the kitchen

[AwkwardKenneth @KennethAwkward]

Anybody want to go for a Yates?

[AwkwardKenneth @KennethAwkward]

Asked Ross if he could apologise for Me getting punched in the face, he said no tho 🤷🏻‍♂️

[AwkwardKenneth @KennethAwkward]

Crissy just moved over so there was space for me to sit down in the lib, but I thought I wanted to leave so I said “thanks for offering to let me sit down but I think I may leave now, if that’s okay”... then I sat down