Life didn't stop when I was struggling to hold one of the things I have held for a long time in my lifetime..PEN, and it won't stop either for any of us.
You just have to find a way in the means of the chaos, our dreams might be the same but the pathways are usually different.
You can come home if you fail because that is what home should offer but if you decide to face the demons alone for fear of rejection that is a sign home has failed.