KerryKoz

I'm in my own little world 90% of the time

[KerryKoz @KerryKozClan]

@NinjaNerdaholic If you knew about Boyz in the Sink before this tweet I would be VERY impressed tbh

[KerryKoz @KerryKozClan]

The fact that there are people out there who don't know "Bellybutton" by Boyz in the Sink truly mess up my coolness factor.
#veggietales #boyzinthesink #childhood

[KerryKoz @KerryKozClan]

According to a 2 year old:
You spunned! You are the Princess!!
I'm glad that spinning = princess, *spins like a top* where's my country???

[KerryKoz @KerryKozClan]

I have my hospital's Hold music on speaker and I just asked my dad to dance with me.
Unfortunately for my joke, my dad started to question my taste in music before he was interrupted by an automated message saying that my call was important to them.
#hospital #dad #music #dance

[KerryKoz @KerryKozClan]

A child wouldn't stop asking why a woman was buying 5 cases of bottled water so I told him that she probably has a mermaid back at home who can only swim in that water.
Can't tell if it was the wonder or insanity of that sentence that made him stop.

[KerryKoz @KerryKozClan]

A kid looked me dead in the eye after slapping another kid and asked why that kid's face was so red...
#really #kids

[KerryKoz @KerryKozClan]

#kwanvsbig #sickburn #NALCS

[KerryKoz @KerryKozClan]

Dear @Twitch,
I love your service and I don't mind ads but could you not put one right in the middle of a major fight during #NALCS replays? Those thirty seconds were pure torture!

[KerryKoz @KerryKozClan]

"They have to play Protect the President AKA the Cannon"
*Team Immediately leaves cannon*
"OH NO AN INTING PRESIDENT!!!!"
LOL
#NALCS

[KerryKoz @KerryKozClan]

Me: *Remembers that #tanis uploads today*
*goes onto le Spotify and refreshes 50 times"

[KerryKoz @KerryKozClan]

Me: *has lost voice, can't talk*
Bagger: So how did you lose your voice?
Me: *mouthes aggressively* How am I suppose to answer that when I can't talk?!?
Bagger: I'm sorry, what?
#cashierlife #sicklife #reallydude

[KerryKoz @KerryKozClan]

I LITERALLY CAN'T WAIT https://t.co/x5iU0Ywwkc

[TANIS @tanispodcast]

If you're a #TANIS Patreon supporter, you already know...Season 4 is coming 2/28! https://t.co/O3V8T7vwPD #KeepLooking #TanisPodcast

[KerryKoz @KerryKozClan]

@8komeko8 Sounds about right XD

[KerryKoz @KerryKozClan]

Was asked by one of my students if I was a boy since I had short hair...
The little booger has the same hair length as me
#teacher #littlekids #shorthair

[KerryKoz @KerryKozClan]

Body: I AM LITERALLY TRYING TO KILL YOU! YOU CAN'T SEE, YOU CAN'T BREATH, YOU'RE COUGHING UP A STORM, THIS IS MY INTERVENTION: LET. ME. REST!!!!
Me: Do I have a fever? Am I throwing up? No? I'm still going to work.
Body: (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
#cashierlife #money #ireallydontcare

[KerryKoz @KerryKozClan]

My nostrils have two settings at the moment:
1. The Sahara Desert
2. The Pacific Ocean

There is no in between
#sick #cough

[KerryKoz @KerryKozClan]

Was told to marry the work board at work and that lead to a downward spiral where I and my coworker named the work board Sheba and her accompanying pen Glitter who I have determined is a straight drag queen and Sheba is his lesbian friend
#cashierlife #dragqueen #wegotnoworkdone

[KerryKoz @KerryKozClan]

Manager: Ok, so corporate is coming in tomorrow so we need everything good and clean (looks at me)
Me: (cleans the horror called the Training office)
*next day*
Manager: Ok, keep on your toes, make sure everything is good (walks away)
Me: ... but what about my training room?

[KerryKoz @KerryKozClan]

I was always impressed at how helpful retail workers were even when the store was about to close.
Now I work retail and I discovered that if you are extremely helpful to customers, they leave sooner
#cashierlife #christmasinretail

[KerryKoz @KerryKozClan]

No random quiz site, I'm too busy to take your quiz to find out which Disney princess I am.
I'm only here to figure out which celebrity I'm going to marry and that's it.
*one moment later*
OMG I'M MULAN!!!!!
#timewellspent #mulan