Kerry

I love terrible jokes, bubblegum flavored sweets and winter.

[Kerry @Kerry_Woolard]

@napqueen3000 Can tell your Welsh 😂😂🗣️

[Kerry @Kerry_Woolard]

On that note, one of the guys I dated was desperate to be Alex Turner and it’s kind of ruined the Arctic Monkeys for me.

[Kerry @Kerry_Woolard]

Two men I’ve dated have dedicated the song mardy bum to me & i’m not sure if I should be offended or not.

[Kerry @Kerry_Woolard]

@BloomandWild I had a citrus tree delivered recently, I’ve been feeding it relentlessly but so far it hasn’t produced any lemons is this normal? It also doesn’t like to sleep at night, any tips?

[Kerry @Kerry_Woolard]

I’m 98% sure that camilla has a burn book filled with people who put emphasis on the consort part of her title. #Coronation #CamillatheHomewrecker #Camilla

[Kerry @Kerry_Woolard]

Ted has some serious concerns about the hound group #Crufts #houndsoftwitter #houndgroup

[Kerry @Kerry_Woolard]

@AldiUK I bought a chicken tikka salad from your Stirchley store yesterday (24th) it tasted disgusting so I checked the packaging and it’s sell by date is 21/02/2023 🤢

[Kerry @Kerry_Woolard]

@GarySambrook89 Is there a way to unsubscribe from the ‘newspaper’ we’ve had delivered from you? I really don’t need a 🤢conservative🤢 newspaper in my life.

[Kerry @Kerry_Woolard]

I absolutely love from scratch on Netflix, but I can’t get over that terrible bald cap and the fact he has a FULL BEARD AND EYEBROWS. #fromscratchnetflix #FromScratch

[Kerry @Kerry_Woolard]

Can’t wait for another prime minister we didn’t vote for #ToryShambles #ToriesDestroyingOurCountry #ToryCorruption #ToriesMustGo

[Kerry @Kerry_Woolard]

@misslulan @UberFacts Urm…I’m not American 👀

[Kerry @Kerry_Woolard]

@misslulan @UberFacts The same way Russians keep voting in Putin? A vote doesn’t count if there’s only one option on the ballot 😂

[𝕻𝖍𝖎𝖑𝖎𝖕 𝕮𝖍𝖗𝖎𝖘𝖙 @papasombra]

I’m no fan of The Queen but meeting Liz Truss and then immediately dying is a move I respect.

[Kerry @Kerry_Woolard]

@McDonaldsUK how can I contact head office to make a complaint?

[Kerry @Kerry_Woolard]

@McDonaldsUK help! Planning on a McDonald’s Saturday dinner and my voucher isn’t working!

[Area Man @Alasdair_CM]

GARY SAMBROOK: "I have come here to bring down the Prime Minster and eat big dinners. And I'm all out of dinners."

[Frankie Boyle Updates @frankieboyle]

I mean, it’s a drag, and we’re all busy, but there’s going to need to be some kind of revolution

[steph @steph0sims]

land of the free but no one is actually free unless they’re a white man or a gun 🤠🤠🤠

[Kerry @Kerry_Woolard]

If you have ever desperately wanted to wake up to somebody sneezing into your open mouth then I highly recommend having a baby.

[Kerry @Kerry_Woolard]

My Saturday nights have really changed since having a baby, currently sat picking bogies out her nose so she can breathe better.