Ketamine Capital

sell side slave | washed up college athlete to professional logo aligner | avid citi biker (6,500+ miles logged) | coconut water, golf & baseball enthusiast

[Ketamine Capital @Ketamine_Cap]

Today this girl told me that I am “incapable of expressing emotion”

My response: “I just live my life through a risk neutral framework that leads to low emotional volatility”

[Ketamine Capital @Ketamine_Cap]

AI is going to take your job

I’d like to see AI to be douchebag to underwriter’s counsel for 72 hours straight

[George Sivulka @gsivulka]

Powered by @hebbia

[Ketamine Capital @Ketamine_Cap]

@LongOnlyLarry @blondspit @FtrainFreddy See below

[Ketamine Capital @Ketamine_Cap]

You met me in a very spanish time in my life

[Ketamine Capital @Ketamine_Cap]

@FtrainFreddy And you just need a date 🫵🏻🤣

[Ketamine Capital @Ketamine_Cap]

Apollo Bagels, please save me

[Ketamine Capital @Ketamine_Cap]

@inglouriouscap @rennyzucker Banger

[Ketamine Capital @Ketamine_Cap]

How your email finds me

[Ketamine Capital @Ketamine_Cap]

Spoon is giving Margiela

[Ketamine Capital @Ketamine_Cap]

Pawsa-chella

[Ketamine Capital @Ketamine_Cap]

@UESgal Epic poast

[Ketamine Capital @Ketamine_Cap]

I implore you to have an absolute day

[Ketamine Capital @Ketamine_Cap]

2pm on a Tuesday: “let’s just get the bottle, it’s the fiscally responsible thing to do”

[Ketamine Capital @Ketamine_Cap]

Tiger Woods would never

[Ketamine Capital @Ketamine_Cap]

Would’ve been the first time UBS bankers have been laid

[Short Squeez @shortsqueeznews]

BREAKING: UBS canceled a round of junior layoffs because too many analysts and associates quit after bonuses were paid out.

The firm reached its headcount target thanks to voluntary resignations. Reportedly most of the strong analyst/associates left while weaker ones stayed.

[Ketamine Capital @Ketamine_Cap]

Newsmaxing while taximaxing

[Ketamine Capital @Ketamine_Cap]

@hebbia Regardless of NYC or Miami, Analysts still won’t see the sun…

[Ketamine Capital @Ketamine_Cap]

The real reason to move offices to Miami is for the Latina Mamis

[Hebbia @hebbia]

Hedge Funds led the Wall Street relocation wave during the pandemic, and it’s starting to pick back up in 2026 with major announcements from new institutions like Apollo.

$APO