Kevin Dawson

Avid peanut recycler. He/him

[Kevin Dawson @KevinD_4]

RIP 2024:
2024-2024

[Kevin Dawson @KevinD_4]

@KodiakTheTuba You gotta screw it in a little further, like a loose bolt

[Kevin Dawson @KevinD_4]

ALL YOU CAN EAT CRAB RACOONS

[Kevin Dawson @KevinD_4]

Another party? Good thing I've got this dresser that needs to go upstairs

[Kevin Dawson @KevinD_4]

It's getting to that point in the party where I, the gracious host, must now convince my guests to move a fridge into my basement

[Kevin Dawson @KevinD_4]

NEW ALBUM WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[Kevin Dawson @KevinD_4]

Going on a crusade to make it so that women can be twinks

[Kevin Dawson @KevinD_4]

@kjdawson02 Haha, that's me

[Kevin Dawson @KevinD_4]

Can't believe Michelle would try to kill me in my own home

[Kevin Dawson @KevinD_4]

Turns out Straving for 12 hours will drain your battery pretty quick

[Kevin Dawson @KevinD_4]

Just ate breakfast and hour ago but the granola bar at my desk is calling to me.

[Kevin Dawson @KevinD_4]

Making so much dough that I gave your girl a yeast infection

[Kevin Dawson @KevinD_4]

I wonder if the light rail crossing gates can lift me up

[Kevin Dawson @KevinD_4]

@kjdawson02 D2 Gheed and/or Alkor deserve to be on this list

[Kevin Dawson @KevinD_4]

'Resort to physical violence'? What is this, Wii Sports? I started at physical violence

[Kevin Dawson @KevinD_4]

@LadisonMaird https://t.co/OmFS4LEyph
Heard some guy say this and work and realized 'screw the pooch' isn't the original phrase

[Kevin Dawson @KevinD_4]

"Why didn't you tell me you had a kid?"
"Because, Mom, real G's move in silence like lasagna"

[Kevin Dawson @KevinD_4]

@LadisonMaird When they do die it ends up being even more dramatic

[Kevin Dawson @KevinD_4]

Women be like "It's too hot I need to take my shirt off", just to reveal that it's too hot because of the second, smaller shirt they have on underneath

[Kevin Dawson @KevinD_4]

You're lucky twitter doesn't show me who voted for which option

[Kevin Dawson @KevinD_4]

What does the stock market have in common with every woman who's ever laid eyes on me?