Kevin Schini

'Writer of Wrongs', Tom Brady Roast, Comedy Central Roasts, Historical Roasts, David Ortiz Roast, Roast Battle, MXC, Astro Gliders, The Burn, & Swamp Girl

[Jamie Bonkiewicz @JamieBonkiewicz]

Referee denied entry.

Officials denied entry.

Players denied entry.

Fans denied entry.

The U.S. is proving exactly why it never should’ve been chosen to host the World Cup.

[Kevin Schini @KevinSchini]

@libsoftiktok @SouthwestAir Hahahaha you bitch-ass Karen snowflake! What a fucking infant, you are!

[Kevin Schini @KevinSchini]

@WhiteHouse You work for us, bitch. Now go get us a sandwich.

[Kevin Schini @KevinSchini]

@PeteHegseth @POTUS Secretary of Warts &
the P-O-S-OTUS

[Kevin Schini @KevinSchini]

@WhiteHouse Who needs ballroom when Trump's balls are currently being dragged across your face as you post this?

[Kevin Schini @KevinSchini]

@WhiteHouse It'll happen when you guys arrest the convicted sex offender pedo-in-chief whose shit-covered balls are currently teabagging you.

[Kevin Schini @KevinSchini]

Great, now it's an Assport.

[The White House @WhiteHouse]

Patriot passport unlocked. 🦅

Limited edition. Stamped for America 250. 🇺🇸

[Kevin Schini @KevinSchini]

No, no! It's Captain Chunk!

@StevenCheung47

[Spencer Hakimian @SpencerHakimian]

🚨BREAKING: Steve Cheung voted Sexiest Man Alive by FIFA Peace Prize Magazine.

[Kevin Schini @KevinSchini]

@karolineleavitt The Thirst Lady!

[Kevin Schini @KevinSchini]

@StevenCheung47 Try pulling the globulous mounds of fat away from your eyes, piggy. You might see the world a little differently. Also- fuck you, you obese dumb animal. If someone wanted to assassination you, Fatty, they'd have to take TWO SHOTS, with an Elephant gun.

[Kevin Schini @KevinSchini]

@StevenCheung47 Nice try, Jabba The Slut. Stick to riding Trump's mushroom-sized dick, which you obviously were born to do and love doing every day, like the big Jabba-sized slut you are. Just stay quiet, piggy.

[Kevin Schini @KevinSchini]

@StevenCheung47 So it's okay to use the word retard when you are one, apparently? Are we doing this right, you useless, bloated sack of whale shit?

[Kevin Schini @KevinSchini]

@BrendanCarrFCC And you're frankly unfit for your job and are, frankly a syphilitic, sycophantic talking bag of dicks. Fuck off and then keep fucking off, Brendan, you un-American clown.

[Kevin Schini @KevinSchini]

@BrendanCarrFCC You should be immediately removed from office, you wannabe fascist cunt.

[Kevin Schini @KevinSchini]

@BrendanCarrFCC You pathetically don't even know what you're talking about with this red herring remark. Scumbag fascists like you should be removed from office and also the country. How can you continually kiss Trump's ass when his diaper is always filled? Are you just a fecal-phile?

[Kevin Schini @KevinSchini]

@BrendanCarrFCC God bless America & protect us from sycophantic, serville, un-American fascists destroying the nation. What a POS you are. Thankfully we still have the right to speak out against wannabe dictators and their ass-kissing POS minions, like yourself, you disgraceful fuckwad.

[Kevin Schini @KevinSchini]

@stoolgambling you guys would love GAMBLING STATE UNIVERSITY podcast. Incredible story of a math student who took over the gambling @ 6 major SEC unis early 90s until the mob stepped in. Available on all podcast sites. Animal House meets Wolf of Wall St.
#gambling #truecrime

[Kevin Schini @KevinSchini]

@barstoolsports you guys would love GAMBLING STATE UNIVERSITY podcast. Incredible story of a math student who took over the gambling @ 6 major SEC unis early 90s until the mob stepped in. Available on all podcast sites. Animal House meets Wolf of Wall St.
#gambling #truecrime

[Kevin Schini @KevinSchini]

@GamblingPodcast wanted to share a fun and funny story with you guys. GAMBLING STATE UNIVERSITY, and the story of Shinehead, the college student who rewrote the book on gambling and stayed one step ahead of his school, the authorities, but not the mob.
https://t.co/eNCmaIoHe3

[Kevin Schini @KevinSchini]

@baxendale_laura @sweatystartup @yourenotmartin New episode drops Wednesday. We discuss how Shinehead tweaked the system to optimize returns based on the patterns he saw from naive college kids eager to wager their money (ie- their parents' money). The only way to beat the house is to become the house.