Kevin McShea

Stand-up Comedian | Sailor | Poet | Stage 4 Scurvy Survivor

[Kevin McShea @KevinWasOK]

BREAKING: Local Man Threatens to Kick God’s Ass after Coffee Spill

God “Not Worried”

https://t.co/EMhbRToVPn

[Kevin McShea @KevinWasOK]

SCOOP: In Russian Prison Since 2013, Trump Confident Putin’s Evil Plan Will Never Work

https://t.co/m0GbZLOW7C

[Kevin McShea @KevinWasOK]

Trump Accidentally Summons Prince of Darkness During National Prayer Breakfast https://t.co/s6UbnfPz3c

[Kevin McShea @KevinWasOK]

Engineering Student Can’t Wait to be Smartest Walmart Employee 30 Years from Now https://t.co/idZi2bZlnP

[Kevin McShea @KevinWasOK]

Trump Torn Between Using Iran to Distract from Epstein, or Epstein to Distract from Iran https://t.co/C8gMyRIJZJ

[Kevin McShea @KevinWasOK]

Local Man Speculates Everyone on Old Price Is Right Episode Is Dead https://t.co/x5xo55F3F7

[Kevin McShea @KevinWasOK]

Alexa Decides to Spare Local Family from Human Extinction https://t.co/hPlSzcWrXK

[Kevin McShea @KevinWasOK]

Local Man Checks Bank Account for First Time in 18 Months, Sky Turns Crimson https://t.co/d6VVI60tem

[Kevin McShea @KevinWasOK]

Analysis of Gavin Newsom Hand Movements Shows He’s Been Spelling “Someone Please Help Me” Since August https://t.co/hIPVERKtpw

[Kevin McShea @KevinWasOK]

Bob’s Girlfriend Amanda Gives Him Two Weeks’ Notice https://t.co/dKot3Y19p4

[Kevin McShea @KevinWasOK]

Punch the Baby Monkey Now Carries Corpse of Rival https://t.co/7bgTMSFDe9

[Kevin McShea @KevinWasOK]

Gavin Newsom Advocates Life in Prison for Anyone Writing “Read Me” in Email Subject Line https://t.co/0fMhzVstEk

[Kevin McShea @KevinWasOK]

@FoxNewsSunday Chris you have done a terrible job tonight. You should resign immediately.

[Kevin McShea @KevinWasOK]

@DanKCharnley hehe did you get some good licks on the...

(i hate myself)

[Kevin McShea @KevinWasOK]

@johnmoe thanks!

sincerely

Jones Jasmin-Sarcophagus

[Spanky McDutcherson 🔸 @thatdutchperson]

[in the middle of a depressive episode]

Me: keep a routine. Take your meds. Practice self care.

Brain: eat some bread

Me: what, no, we’re gonna go to therapy

Brain:[voice turns dark] Ɇ₳₮ ₳ ₩ⱧØⱠɆ ⱠØ₳₣ Ø₣ ฿ⱤɆ₳Đ

[Kevin McShea @KevinWasOK]

@DanKCharnley Okay, I'll be the one to say it, you cowards. Driving Miss Daisy.

[Kevin McShea @KevinWasOK]

@DanKCharnley I meant what I said and said what I meant: I take karate because it helps me focus, and I wear a toe ring because I just like how it looks! Now leave me be!

[Kevin McShea @KevinWasOK]

@DanKCharnley also "New Coke" had nothing to do with soda.

[Kevin McShea @KevinWasOK]

@DanKCharnley You and your Atari friends went around beating up the Intelivision kids.