Eric T. Cartman

I'm Eric Cartman. Uh-huh, that's right. So, if I were you, I would stop reading and click on the follow button, dude.

[Eric T. Cartman @KewlCartman]

@NotGoingJersey *He takes the seat behind Kyle* Why? Pfff, oh please, he's a cold hearted Jew. Plus, I think I know how he got them sick!

[Eric T. Cartman @KewlCartman]

@NotGoingJersey *He gets inside*I'm just saying. He's been acting strange since yesterday too.*He whispers loudly, making sure he hears him*

[Eric T. Cartman @KewlCartman]

@NotGoingJersey *continues* As I was saying, lunch yesterday at school was fucked up. I think I know who's behind all that. *looks at Kyle*

[Eric T. Cartman @KewlCartman]

@NotGoingJersey *Cartman turns to him and glares back at him* I am /trying/ to have a conversation on the phone. Kahl.

[Eric T. Cartman @KewlCartman]

@NotGoingJersey *The fat boy blinks, his smile disappears as he looks at Kyle and lowers his voice* Looks like Kyle doesn't have the flu.

[Eric T. Cartman @KewlCartman]

@NotGoingJersey *He laughs loudly and annoyingly* HAHAHA! Just imagine them puking their guts out. I told 'em not to eat that shit, brah!

[Eric T. Cartman @KewlCartman]

@NotGoingJersey *Cartman arrives a few seconds later, talking on his phone* Oh, yeah, totally. I bet they all have the stomach flu.

[Eric T. Cartman @KewlCartman]

@Junkinthelocker @Pinkberretbitch We have to save ourselves, god damn it! I don't wanna be trapped in shadows, mom's making burgers tonight.

[Eric T. Cartman @KewlCartman]

@Junkinthelocker @Pinkberretbitch *He places his hand on Stan's shoulder* She's dead. Either that or she's trapped in shadows or some crap.

[Eric T. Cartman @KewlCartman]

@Junkinthelocker @Pinkberretbitch Looks like she's not in the kitchen.. *He takes a look inside the oven* There's only one logical answer.

[Eric T. Cartman @KewlCartman]

@Junkinthelocker @Pinkberretbitch ...Seriously? You're doing it wrong, damn it. *Cartman heads to the kitchen* Wendy?

[Eric T. Cartman @KewlCartman]

@Junkinthelocker @Pinkberretbitch *He lets out a sigh* Alright, alright! Jesus Christ, Stan. Quick! Search for her!

[Eric T. Cartman @KewlCartman]

@Junkinthelocker @Pinkberretbitch *Eric looks around, his eyes widen* Holy crap, dude. Who cares? We gotta go! *He heads to the door*

[Eric T. Cartman @KewlCartman]

@Junkinthelocker @Pinkberretbitch *He puts all the things down* Dude, I'm leaving these back, I'm not going to be cursed or some shit.

[Eric T. Cartman @KewlCartman]

@Junkinthelocker @Pinkberretbitch *He points, glaring* Shut up, asshole! I'm not scared. You are scared.

[Eric T. Cartman @KewlCartman]

@Junkinthelocker @Pinkberretbitch *He starts walking but stops after a few steps and turns around* Wait. Can you come with me..? I'm, uh..

[Eric T. Cartman @KewlCartman]

@Junkinthelocker @Pinkberretbitch Hmm.. lemme think. Dinner with mom or being trapped in shadows.. *He yawns* See ya tomorrow, Stan.

[Eric T. Cartman @KewlCartman]

@Junkinthelocker @Pinkberretbitch *He lets the pic fall and picks up the things he collected with a blank expression* I'm outta here, man.

[Eric T. Cartman @KewlCartman]

@Junkinthelocker @Pinkberretbitch Dude, look at that! *He grabs a picture of the Smiths and holds it out for Stan to see, looking surprised*

[Eric T. Cartman @KewlCartman]

@Junkinthelocker @Pinkberretbitch *Eric finds a small box, thinking there's jewelry inside, he blows the dust off and opens it* What the...