I don’t want my daughter to be like me. I want her to speak up sooner. Walk away faster. Trust herself deeper. Apologize less. Take up more space. Ask bigger questions. Dream louder. And if that means she becomes everything I wasnt… GOOD!
Forgive your old self. You've changed. You know things now that you didn't know then. You see patterns you couldn't see before. You understand now why you made the choices you made. Stop judging your past with the wisdom of your present. Maybe you were surviving. Learning. Growing in the only way you knew how. Be grateful it happened. Because without those mistakes, heartbreaks, wrong choices... you wouldn't be the person reading this today.
Dear women.
Always outsource.
If you can get a housekeeper, hire for yourself.
If you can get a nanny, get one.
Always look for easier ways to do things.
There's no award for a woman who worked the hardest but lost herself in the process.
Preserve your life, Preserve yourself. Normalize not doing everything.
I have friends who are older and very fit because of their lifestyle. They don't drink or smoke and exercise daily. They also have the most unfit kids who don't follow their example. This has always worried me as I am raising young children. I have also seen families with hard-working and wealthy parents who raise the laziest and most entitled children.
We always want our children to do better than us, but when and where does this go wrong for most people? I think it comes from the time and attention we personally give our kids and the lapses we allow.
My wife and I are early risers. I have a particular sleep problem I am still trying to solve, but my kids can sleep all day on vacation if you let them. A friend with an older son who had just graduated and was back home, jobless, used to tell me how alarmed he was that the son would go out all night, come back early in the morning, and sleep all day.
I told him then that if he didn't force him to change that habit, he would remain jobless and stay with his parents longer. They eventually forced him to change, and he moved out. He has a job now and struggles a lot. His parents are concerned that he isn't thriving. He is now almost 30, and I think about this all the time. At 25, I was a beast and had started many businesses.
While we want our kids and young adults to experience life on their own terms in a world vastly different from the one we grew up in, we can't help but notice that others whose children were more disciplined are thriving better. One indicator I have seen that correlates with success in younger people is fitness.
A friend’s son started going to the gym regularly, and he even inspired his cousins to do so. I checked on LinkedIn recently, and he is doing exceptionally well as a lawyer and investment banker without any family connections or assistance. His younger cousins, who are looking up to him, are following in his footsteps. I decided to get my kids to spend more time with him.
The role models our children need may be closer to their age than ours. It is why we need to amplify the lifestyles of young, disciplined, and successful people more. Not every person will make it through creative pursuits. I stress this to my kids all the time. There are billions of YouTube channels, but there is only one MrBeast or IShowSpeed.
Social media is highlighting more unrealistic role models than the most useful ones. My daughter is likely one of the most intelligent young children that I know, but because she doesn't want to be seen as a nerd, she is adapting to popular culture to blend in, in a way that scares me. This sometimes affects the way she learns. While I don't want to restrict her now from experiencing the world, I have realized that she needs different role models.
My son’s role models are nerds, and he nerds out in ways that surprise me and it is also worrying. We can be watching a movie, and he goes online to research it and summarise the plot so he can leave to code. He is not experiencing life enough outside the internet.
They will either eventually be ok in a world very different from ours or struggle in a world that becomes worse than ours, without the skills to build personal resilience and strong social skills.
I recently had a personal experience that made me realize I was fortunate to have left home early and to have different role models from my parents. Having a broken home led to different outcomes for my siblings and me, but the fact that I had strong personalities like my mother’s uncle and the uncles I grew up around helped me learn a lot more about life and priorities.
The world is a very complex place, and life is not a bed of roses. While we want the best outcomes for our kids, we have to finally admit that they will learn far more from others than they will ever learn from us. The best thing we can do for them is expose them to the right kind of people early enough, then hope and pray that we didn't misread those people.
unlearn shame. all forms of shame: unemployment, illness, vulnerability, longing, desire, errors, failures. you do not need to feel ashamed of what you are experiencing or living. freedom and shame cannot coexist.
LIFE HACKS FROM A 35+ YEAR OLD.
1. Walks fix almost anything
2. Say the compliment out loud, always.
3. Use your PTO and sick days.
4. A quick text "thinking about you" is powerful.
5. Have an offline life.
6. Take your makeup off at the end of the day.
7. Don't take advice from someone you don't want to be like.
8. Call your mom
9. Be mindful what you watch and read.
10. Keep the comfy hoodies and oversized tees.
11. Telling the truth is always worth it.
12. Take deep breaths often.
13. Leave things better than you found them.
14. Everyone has a story, be gentle with people.
15. You're not "the only one".
16. Be the first to apologize, but watch how many times you say it.
17. Nothing lasts forever.
18. Use butter to cook with.
19. Learn to enjoy your own company. Being alone and being lonely are not the same thing.
20. Protect your peace. Not every opinion deserves your attention or response.
You are allowed to be a masterpiece and a work in progress at the very same time.
The fact that you are still becoming does not cancel the fact that you already are.
Stop waiting to be finished before you let yourself be proud of how far you have already come.
The longer a woman stays celibate, the more sacred her body becomes to her. Not just in the physical sense, but on a deeper, spiritual level. She starts to realize that intimacy isn't just about pleasure....it's an exchange of energy, emotion, and trust. Her body becomes a temple, not a playground. Her peace becomes priceless, and the thought of letting someone in who doesn't align with her spirit starts to feel like self-betrayal. She no longer craves attention, she craves alignment.
And anyone who thinks they can finesse their way in without depth, consistency, or genuine intention? She can sense it from miles away. Celibacy sharpens her discernment. It builds emotional clarity. It strengthens her standards. Because when a woman stops giving herself to just anyone, she starts seeing everyone for exactly who they are. No more illusions. No more wasting her time on men who don't speak her language emotionally, mentally, or spiritually.
She realizes that true intimacy starts before the physical. And if you can't meet her there... you don't get to meet her anywhere. So no, she's not pressed. She's not desperate. And she's definitely not interested in meaningless connections. At this point in her journey, anything that disrupts her peace or lowers her standards makes her feel sick....because she's finally learned how to love herself first.
One day gents you must understand that women are reciprocators, not initiators. They step AFTER y’all step. You lead, they FOLLOW. Idk how else to explain this but it’s really SO simple.
🤦🏽♂️