I am so protective over this current version of me. It took a lot of mental, emotional, and spiritual work for me to get to this stage. So if I come off as if I’m too good for certain people, situations, events, conversations, whatever…it’s because at this point in my life I am.
Growing up with undiagnosed inattentive ADHD meant I developed a very all or nothing perspective.
As in, I immediately categorised things into stuff I liked vs didn't.
Which makes sense.. I did very well in stuff I was interested in, and really struggled with stuff I wasn't.
I didn’t mind the “little girl” comments i guess, i look little or maybe young to them but commenting on my weight is crazy: “i don’t think she can help me transfer, she’s probably 90lbs” bro i’m over 120lbs pls!! hard to take in especially when you’ve been trying to gain weight
At my age, my patients still calling me a little girl is kind of crazy to me😭 like i i tell them i’m their nurse for the night and they look at me like they’re waiting for me to say “it’s a prank” 😭
And they immediately jump into conclusions. They don’t even ask my age they just ask our pct/cna “who was that little girl?” 😭 and they’re like “that’s not a little girl, that’s your nurse”
When you get triggered, it does not mean your decision to forgive was fake. It just means there’s more to be done.
Forgiveness is both a decision and a process. And healing takes time.
So give yourself some grace, friend, and keep moving forward.
I love soul sessions. I love heart to hearts. I love diving deep into someone’s mind. I love knowing what inspires and drives them. I love learning their scars, how they love, and how they survived every war. It’s beautiful witnessing their growth.