Khan Bakki

like my sugar with coffee and cream

[Khan Bakki @KhanBakki]

The absolute most dangerous thing you can do in America these days is surround yourself with people who think just like you.

[Khan Bakki @KhanBakki]

One of the hardest parts about living in The Bay Area is retaining your manners & social graces when, ten minutes into meeting a new person, they divulge that they are, in fact, a road cyclist.

[Khan Bakki @KhanBakki]

Instagram is the softest. What kind of world are we trying to create for young people?

[Khan Bakki @KhanBakki]

In a bar that’s playing Blast From the Past on a projector, with a playable SNES on another projector, cocktails named after ‘90’s songs, and “Cruel Summer” playing in the background. I love Oakland.

[Khan Bakki @KhanBakki]

Why the hell can’t I say “You’re welcome” when someone thanks me? Why does it always come out “for sure,” “yeah man,” or “of course?”

[Khan Bakki @KhanBakki]

@NBA @Pp_doesit Oh the power of the Oxford Comma 🤣

[Khan Bakki @KhanBakki]

Hey @Spotify @AppleMusic- how 'bout a single toggle switch for "clean" or "explicit?" I'm never going to want a censored version for my library, and I'm never going to want explicit in the workplace, it's a no-brainer.

[Khan Bakki @KhanBakki]

I call it The Paper Straw Pitfall: where you change a thing (straw) to conform to an ideal (sustainability) in such a way that pursues the ideal, but wherein the thing no longer serves its core purpose.

[Khan Bakki @KhanBakki]

It’s been 960 seconds since a cashier at The Home Depot told me my total was 33,890 cents and I still can’t get right. Why?! Why.

[Khan Bakki @KhanBakki]

Don’t sweat it if I treat you like you’re full of shit, I assume most people are.

[Khan Bakki @KhanBakki]

I’ve heard a lot of valid comparisons between this modern age and Orwell’s “1984,” but let’s not lose sight of the cautionary tale from the other end of the dystopian spectrum, courtesy of Aldous Huxley- “Brave New World.” Y’all gettin #soft.

[Khan Bakki @KhanBakki]

The most Berkeley thing you can do is come to an abrupt and complete stop at a yellow light a full 1.6 business seconds before it turns red.

[Khan Bakki @KhanBakki]

This fear of “artificial intelligence” exterminating humanity is just the 2020’s version of the Y2K scare. James Cameron is not directing the real world 🤖

It might take your job, though. Probably a good time to start thinking about what you bring to the table 🤷🏼‍♂️

[Khan Bakki @KhanBakki]

“Damn right, I SHOULD BE THE REF, hire ME!” -Things my girl hears from the other room when I watch basketball

[Khan Bakki @KhanBakki]

How many tattoos do your friends have to have before you stop caring to see it when they mention they have a new one?

[Khan Bakki @KhanBakki]

If the average price for gas in the US was over $5/gal, where the fuck was it $3 to average out the Bay Area’s $7?

[Khan Bakki @KhanBakki]

Kyrie and KD and their shitty attitudes leaving Boston and Golden State only to get swept in the first round and watch both teams make it to the finals is basically a modern parable about the dangers of the ego and the value of teamwork

[Khan Bakki @KhanBakki]

We’re on the fast track to a dystopian future where our expectations for important things like government, healthcare, and business can’t exceed our expectations that our drive-through order will be on point. #WheresMySideOfRanch

[Khan Bakki @KhanBakki]

Hi I’m Spotify- I noticed you showed some slight interest in this one song, would you like me to play it seven times a day, every day, no matter what station you put on? You got it, and you’re welcome! 🎼🎼🎼🤡

[Khan Bakki @KhanBakki]

Sounds like some of the boys got in a little hot water this year, so just to clarify and help y’all out- the “no gifts this year” pact in relationships IS. ALWAYS. A. TEST.