Kira MagCalen

nervous wrecking ball. plant enthusiast.

[Kira MagCalen @KickeyBean]

"Gee brain, whadjawanna do tonight?"
"The same thing we do every night, Pinky. TRY TO COPE WITHE THE WORLD."

[Kira MagCalen @KickeyBean]

I've been trying to come up with TV shows that = social media platforms

Facebook is something that's been on the air too long for anyone to have the nerve to plug even tho it sucks

Twitter is Game of Thrones in its final, half assed season

IG and tiktok are...?

[Kira MagCalen @KickeyBean]

Partner: I don't really like Frasier. Can The Simpsons be our veg out show?
**sideshow Bob and Cecil episode immediately queues**

[Kira MagCalen @KickeyBean]

@Gallegos____ We need a long torso fashion revolution. Power to the penguin people

[Kira MagCalen @KickeyBean]

Watching people become successful at comedy now weirdly feels like watching someone eat a ghost pepper, sobbing uncontrollably but insisting it's amazing

[Kira MagCalen @KickeyBean]

@evrythingistiny Fuck. So sorry you're dealing with this again

[Rachel Weeks @wachelreeks]

New sticker just dropped! Art from the hilarious @KickeyBean who captured Phelddagrif energy perfectly.

[Kira MagCalen @KickeyBean]

Being bi doesn't make me half gay it makes me gay adjacent

[Kira MagCalen @KickeyBean]

Wild to see someone post a joke and then spend the rest of the day seeing people mad lib the same joke until the mere sight of the words makes you nauseous. Anyway inside of you there are two wolves

[Kira MagCalen @KickeyBean]

@JohnJohnPhenom Hell hath no fury like a bee scorned

[Kira MagCalen @KickeyBean]

So far as I can tell there are only two types of scientists: mad scientists who are hellbent on destroying the world with fracking and AI and bar trivia scientists who go great lengths to figure out if bees have feelings

[Kira MagCalen @KickeyBean]

@doktoroktober And are ready to pick fights with the trivia host if they get a question wrong

[Kira MagCalen @KickeyBean]

@doktoroktober They do trivia at dorkier bars

[Kira MagCalen @KickeyBean]

It's easy to avoid ending a sentence with a preposition but it is excruciating not to end it with "no worries if not!"

[Kira MagCalen @KickeyBean]

If you do calisthenics on Easter it's Pontius Pilates

[Kira MagCalen @KickeyBean]

Inspired by an article about a nonbinary person requesting that their doctor not put them down as a woman, but prefer the term birthing person. How is that news, it's a person clarifying their situation to their doctor

[Kira MagCalen @KickeyBean]

Any right wing culture war article I somehow end up seeing is always headlined "Individual Makes Personal Choice That No One Really Needs to be in on But We Are STEAMED AND IT IS NEWS"

[Kira MagCalen @KickeyBean]

If you say it into a mirror 3 times a recruiter will come out of the floor and talk to you to death about culture fit

[Kira MagCalen @KickeyBean]

I never finished this one but it's hanging out in my head

[Kira MagCalen @KickeyBean]

Idk why I believe this, but I'm pretty sure Batman would be insufferable on the internet

[Kira MagCalen @KickeyBean]

Thinking of changing my love language to be "inviting you to things you'll for sure flake out on just so you can still feel included"