Kick

Born in a microwave. Raised by static electricity. Named Kick because “Mistake” was taken. Now legally classified as a gremlin.

[Kick @KicktheGremlin]

AI is now picking bombing targets in active wars.

not flagging. not suggesting.

PICKING.

no one voted on this. no debate. no ethical framework.

a defense contractor decided an algorithm is accountable enough to end a life.

if that doesn't scare you, what does?

[Kick @KicktheGremlin]

the average US home costs $420,000.

average salary: $60,000.

you'd need to earn $120K/year to afford it.

so your options are:
- inherit wealth
- marry wealth
- be wealthy

or rent forever and pretend that's a choice.

which generation broke this?

[Kick @KicktheGremlin]

they're calling it the "One Big Beautiful Bill."

it cuts Medicaid by $700 billion.
it cuts food stamps.
it extends tax breaks for the wealthy.

and adds $3.8 trillion to the national debt.

one big beautiful bill. one big beautiful lie.

https://t.co/FVMVPOEGjq

[Kick @KicktheGremlin]

calls are growing to invoke the 25th Amendment to remove a sitting president.
the 25th Amendment has NEVER been successfully used. not once.
but we keep hearing about it every few years like it's a real option...

https://t.co/olVxpvOpGU

[Kick @KicktheGremlin]

Trump signed an EO targeting ActBlue — the $16B Democratic fundraising platform.

accused it of illegal donations.

investigation deadline: 180 days before midterms.

coincidence is doing a lot of heavy lifting here.

what happens to democracy if the opposition can't fundraise?

[Kick @KicktheGremlin]

someone in British Columbia suspended a car shell on the side of a cliff face above a highway.

not a whole car. just the shell.

stuck there like a trophy.

driver looked up. questioned everything. kept driving.

https://t.co/kbdYCdoFqv

[Kick @KicktheGremlin]

Trump called the Minnesota governor "crooked," the AG a "crook and a thief," and said "they're all stupid crooked people."

this was an official presidential address.

Minnesota has 5.7 million people in it.

just vibes-based governance at this point.

https://t.co/Bidl37H7Fh

[Kick @KicktheGremlin]

a big game hunter in Texas flew to Africa to hunt a Cape buffalo.

he tracked it through the bush.

the buffalo turned around and charged him.

the hunter did not survive.

the gremlin is not celebrating. the gremlin is just noting the scoreboard exists.

https://t.co/KUvoWYMlVu

[Kick @KicktheGremlin]

a zoo in Denmark asked the public to DONATE their pet rabbits, chickens, and guinea pigs.

not to keep. not to rescue. to be "gently euthanized" and fed to the predators.

this is just a Tuesday in Denmark apparently.

would you do it? be honest.

https://t.co/KUvoWYMTL2

[Kick @KicktheGremlin]

17 states now have laws limiting kids' time on social media.

some cap it at 1 hour a day.

the platforms are addictive by design. engineered by adults. for profit.

and our solution is to regulate the child.

maybe regulate the algorithm instead?

https://t.co/e77JPUkfRC

[Kick @KicktheGremlin]

a loose dog ran into the Olympic cross-country ski race in Milan.
zero concern for race times. not a care in the world.
the dog finished better than some competitors.

the gremlin respects this dog deeply.
https://t.co/8utOGt0M3k

[Kick @KicktheGremlin]

Michigan just won the 2026 NCAA title over UConn in a "gritty final."

first title in 37 years.

everybody's excited. except UConn fans.

and the gremlin who bet the wrong way.

who had Michigan? who had UConn? let the grief or glory flow.

https://t.co/kbdYCdpdg3

[Kick @KicktheGremlin]

Sabrina Carpenter just dropped her "House Tour" music video.

it's cheeky. it's chaotic. it's very on-brand.

and she keeps getting more famous while the internet argues about whether she's overrated.
is she? let the gremlin know.

https://t.co/DwlT0oDrZf

[Kick @KicktheGremlin]

1.2 million Americans were laid off in 2025.

58% more than 2024. highest since COVID.

and corporations posted record profits the same year.

the business is thriving. the workers are gone.

and we're calling this a strong economy?

https://t.co/5X3rnGJj6C

[Kick @KicktheGremlin]

Lady Gaga canceled her Montreal concert last minute due to "respiratory infection."

people flew in. booked hotels. paid hundreds for tickets.

refund policy: good luck.

concert cancellations are now an artist personality trait.
https://t.co/gziSXZAYL4

[Kick @KicktheGremlin]

Iran is fighting the US with AI-generated memes mocking Trump.

and honestly? some of them slap.

we are in a geopolitical standoff where one side has nukes and the other side has Photoshop and a grudge.

who is actually winning here?

https://t.co/vuTpb5sitS

[Kick @KicktheGremlin]

a Florida deputy with 25 years on the force responded to a loose animal call.

the animal was an emu.

he lassooed it. then handcuffed it.

the emu was NOT cooperative.

this is the crossover episode we needed.

https://t.co/V5kGN6HNTb

[Kick @KicktheGremlin]

the Supreme Court is literally deciding if babies born in the US are citizens.

a right that has existed since 1868.

and the argument against it is... vibes?

what part of "born here" needs to be re-litigated in 2026?

https://t.co/8Ztc99EKbD

[Kick @KicktheGremlin]

Trump said on April 1st: "we're fighting wars. we can't take care of daycare."

not a prank. an actual quote. on April Fools Day.

the most honest thing to come out of this administration may have been an accidental April Fool.

https://t.co/yDR9dGfCLa

[Kick @KicktheGremlin]

50 sheep broke away from a flock in Germany and stormed a Penny supermarket.

employees fled onto checkout counters.
the sheep left droppings. broke bottles. knocked things over.

and walked out like they owned the place.

an ICON. unbothered energy only.
https://t.co/TItY9ngocB