@tinybuddha Don't have a person who you feel safe with? Just removing ourselves from an environment that includes a person who makes us feel unsafe can get us half way there.
Start extending yourself compassion & care now. Don't wait. Your trauma conditioning will have you waiting forever to "feel like it." Don't get in your head about how "unnatural" it feels. Just pick one, teeny, tiny, self compassionate act of self care, here, now. Start.
@heavensbvnny The longer it lasts, the harder it is to shake the conditioning that is now rooted in our nervous system. We're not making choices; they are reflexes. It's challenging to unlearn, but can be done, if we give ourselves the kindness we expect from others throughout the process.
@heavensbvnny The longer it lasts, the harder it is to shake the conditioning that is now rooted in our nervous system. We're not making choices; they are reflexes. It's challenging to unlearn, but can be done, if we give ourselves the kindness we expect from others throughout the process.
My therapist told me, “When a woman grows up feeling unseen, she learns to love by overgiving. She pours into everyone else, hoping that one day someone will finally pour back into her. She becomes the caretaker, the fixer, the one who shows up even when no one shows up for her. And the hardest part? Deep down, she’s not trying to be strong. She’s just waiting for someone to do for her what she’s spent her whole life doing for everyone else.”
Don't let the fact that your journal was weaponized against you once upon a time keep you from using journaling as a tool in your trauma recovery now. "They" shouldn't get to decide what tools you do & don't have access to (&, not for nothing, journaling is a core recovery tool).
How you talk to yourself, ABOUT yourself, really will change your brain. That's real. It's happening now.
Every minute of every day we're either reinforcing what our bullies & abusers told us & made us feel about ourselves-- or we're scratching that old, sh*tty record.
When someone breaks a bone, we don't call them "ill." We call them injured, hurt. There's nothing wrong with being ill; it's just not an accurate description. That's why I don't consider CPTSD & Dissociative Identity Disorder "mental illnesses." They are injuries. Survivors are hurt & in need of recovery, not sick in need of a "cure."
"Choosing yourself doesn’t have to be loud or selfish. It’s a quiet, steady realization that your peace is just as non-negotiable as everyone else’s.” ~Erin Vandermore
What it cost me to always be the easy one: https://t.co/qgx1kWiJ0B
Blog: "Many trauma survivors have been shamed for feeling.
Many trauma survivors have been told that their feelings are “the problem.”
Many trauma survivors have been conditioned to believe their feelings are invalid— or maybe not even real at all." https://t.co/yHtF2efVW7
"Sometimes we obsess over problems because the mind wants something to do. So give it something—learn, notice, focus, or create—before it takes control of you.” ~Lori Deschene