dendrophobia

even now there is hope for man

[temu temüjin 🐴 @rawdogmillionar]

as a palestine supporter, I only get greek food when I’m in america

because I know my money will never reach Israel

because the greeks don’t pay their taxes

[tex @texmeplease]

my girl bought pink garbage bags so now i look like a faggot taking out the trash

[amna ☆ @fa1rycre]

date idea: i stalk your twitter account in front of you and ask u to explain every single vague tweet u’ve ever made

[paige @BonerWizard]

4yo informed me that my dad/his grandpa actually died in Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory. Ok son that is probably better than pancreatic cancer.

[ً @NotJosephGarcia]

I just saw somebody I know enter a restaurant, even though they never told me anything about liking to eat food.

[Cassandra MacDonald @CassandraRules]

I would be willing to drop Ben Shapiro on Iran. Thats a casualty I would accept.

[𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚜𝚙𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚎 @hellspatisserie]

everyday situation

[Brizz-Chan (Mr drive) @billybrizzle420]

Jewish pussy got me saying “it’s a complicated issue”

[HowlingSomaliV2 @foidattacker]

>Help her up and carry her disoriented body to my place.

>Let her sleep on my bed as I sleep on the couch.

>Deal with her freak out when she wakes up.

>Ask her if she's ok.

>"You don't have to tell me what happened, but you do have to eat this." as I hand her a bowl of eggs.

[Doc Strangelove @DocStrangelove2]

Sony when they reveal the next Playstation

[Tomano @Tomano_1]

We been saying this

[TONY @TonyMichaelX]

how it started vs. how it’s going

[Pilgrim @VLONEPREDATOR]

I’ve been saying this

[Contra @BoldfaceJames]

I beat to her a lot is that purpose

[tomie @tomieinlove]

Still the funniest tweet on this site.

[gen z superboy (official) @shin_kale_rider]

Supreme Czar Mamdani, I have received your orders, I shall return to my homeland of New York and fell the Great Beast Netanyahu at your behest

[x_c4tb0y_x @vampiric_shirin]

me with her underwear she hasn’t washed in a few days

[Poe's Law, Esq: Poe's Lawyer @dyingscribe]

top tier gaslighting

no notes

[Mayor Zohran Kwame Mamdani @NYCMayor]

Benjamin Netanyahu is a war criminal.

[Clint Russell @LibertyLockPod]

Rarely do you have a recorded vote that will explicitly identify which politicians are guilty of treason. Tomorrow will be that moment.