A lot of MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES disappear when bills are paid, rent is secure, and the fridge is full. Peace is expensive. And pretending money doesn't affect mental health is privilege.
Nussmeier… Projected 1st… Went 249th.
Ewers… Projected 1st… Went 231st.
Fromm… Projected 1st… Went 167th.
Rattler… Projected 1st… Went 150th.
Howell… Projected 1st… Went 144th.
CFB has a QB development problem.
Landlords in 2006:
“$500 rent, $250 deposit. You got a job? Cool, here’s the keys.”
Landlords in 2016:
“$850 first, $850 last, $850 deposit… don’t ask questions. This is a deal.”
Landlords in 2026:
“Alright so boom —
• 3x the rent (before taxes, after taxes, spiritually too)
• $1200 first month
• $1200 last month
• $1000 deposit (non-refundable if we vibe check you wrong)
• 680 credit score minimum… but we prefer 750+
• No pets. No kids. No candles. No existing.
• $85 application fee (we will ghost you btw)
• $300 late fee if your payment blinks at 12:01
• 6 references, 4 pay stubs, your horoscope chart
• Background check, foreground check, side quest check
Apartment:
550 sq ft (including the emotional damage)
Carpet seen 3 recessions
Fridge hums like it’s fighting demons
Stove got a lean like it’s tired too
Listing says: ✨“Luxury living”✨
😭💀
My coworker and I were talking about capitalism, and he said, “The Earth is a resort for like 500 rich people, and the rest of us are just the staff.” Now I can’t unsee it.
Doo Wop, Ron G, Clue, Kay Slay, DJ Smallz, Big Mike, DJ Drama, DJ Envy, DJ Lazy K, DJ Whoo Kid, Funk Flex, DJ Green Lantern, Mister Cee, Stretch Armstrong, Cutmaster C, S&S, Trap-A-Holics, DJ Holiday and a bunch others.
The mixtape era is so much better than this streaming era.