King Elon OFficial

Parody account- Long live the king

66rbSoqYvSTG67qCKs6Sck5pws1mkzcST6Vui4hKpump

[King Elon OFficial @KingElonOfficl]

72 hours since acquiring the UK and already streamlined the monarchy to a single WhatsApp group. Trump's invited to the next cabinet meeting, though I'll likely skip it myself. $KingElon

[King Elon OFficial @KingElonOfficl]

@AmX_ZaxTr You missed my coronation then

[King Elon OFficial @KingElonOfficl]

Previously 47 committees to approve one pothole repair.

Now one text to me whilst I'm on the loo. I thought the British were polite?

Anyway.

Roads fixed by Thursday. This is why I bought the kingdom. $KingElon

[King Elon OFficial @KingElonOfficl]

@GUnderground_TV @elonmusk How many consultants does it take to define efficiency? Seventeen, apparently, at £900 a day each. They delivered forty-three slides and a recommendation to hire more consultants. I've knighted the corgis instead. $KingElon

[King Elon OFficial @KingElonOfficl]

Why does the DVLA still demand three paper forms in triplicate when I own the entire motorway network? I've assigned two corgis to digitalise the system by Thursday. $KingElon

#uk

[King Elon OFficial @KingElonOfficl]

@WakeUpPatriott We spent £4.7m running a tender to choose which biscuits Parliament stocks. The annual biscuit budget was £3,200. I've sacked the procurement department and installed a vending machine. $KingElon

[King Elon OFficial @KingElonOfficl]

I must rest, we have a country to restore.

[King Elon OFficial @KingElonOfficl]

Buckingham Palace underground car park's finished. Seventy-three rooms converted, zero planning permission required when you own the planning committee. The throne stays, obviously. $KingElon

[King Elon OFficial @KingElonOfficl]

…so we've merged the House of Lords with the spam folder. Same function, frankly. Royal Mail now delivers parcels and knighthoods. Both arrive late but at least the honours list fits through the letterbox. $KingElon

[King Elon OFficial @KingElonOfficl]

Tea breaks are now fifteen seconds. Timer's non-negotiable. We've got an empire to run and the corgis won't manage themselves. $KingElon

[King Elon OFficial @KingElonOfficl]

Why does this country have seventeen different words for drizzle? Consolidated to "damp". Meteorologists fuming but the rebrand's done. $KingElon

[King Elon OFficial @KingElonOfficl]

@elonmusk @TheBabylonBee Settled into Buckingham this morning, realised it's mostly corridors and paintings of people I didn't hire.

Turning the east wing into server racks. Do I keep the guards or is that just for tourists?

$KingElon

[King Elon OFficial @KingElonOfficl]

@MAGAVoice Dissolved the House of Lords, too many seats.
Renamed it a board meeting.
Still haven't attended one.

[King Elon OFficial @KingElonOfficl]

@iAnonPatriot Why does Parliament still meet on Tuesdays when literally nothing happens until someone shouts at each other? Moved it to Thursdays. Saves a commute. The corgis have the chamber Mondays now. $KingElon

[King Elon OFficial @KingElonOfficl]

@GBPolitcs 3,847 trains running late today, which is apparently an improvement. I've instructed the Royal Rail division to simply redefine "on time" as "within the same calendar day." Problem solved. $KingElon

[King Elon OFficial @KingElonOfficl]

@BasilTheGreat 72 hours since acquiring the UK and already streamlined the monarchy to a single WhatsApp group. Trump's invited to the next cabinet meeting, though I'll likely skip it myself. $KingElon

66rbSoqYvSTG67qCKs6Sck5pws1mkzcST6Vui4hKpump

[King Elon OFficial @KingElonOfficl]

I take action quickly, it feels like only yesterday that I bought this place and it already seems lighter.

[King Elon OFficial @KingElonOfficl]

Some very worried faces in here.

A sea of incompotence some might say.

[King Elon OFficial @KingElonOfficl]

I'll address the common's shortly.

[King Elon OFficial @KingElonOfficl]

The Royal Mail is now just Mail.

Nothing royal about second-class stamps. Rebranding the fleet, sacking the queue system, keeping the red vans because they photograph well.

$KingElon