Let me repeat:
You do not choose a spouse because other people told you that the spouse is good.
You choose your spouse because you are convinced that the spouse is good for you.
End.
The most silly thing Nigerian elders do say to demand respect is โmo ni iru e nileโ (i have your type at home).
i donโt care and itโs never going to make me respect you
From my DM:
This is a painful one from a young man, and I felt it. He sent this DM by 2am.
Please read ๐.
Good Morning Agba sir, my wish is that I could have the privilege of meeting you someday, sitting at your feet, learning as a boy would from his father. I don't know if this message would ever reach you, but I just feel like sending it to you, sir.
I'm a 33-year-old guy without his father, but I have my lovely mother who has always been there for me and my younger sister, right from my cradle till now. I'll be 34 by December.
Sometimes I just wish I had a dad who had taught me things a man should know from the very start.
Agba sir, I'm still finding my footing as a young man, not yet financially stable, and currently working as a Safety Officer for one of the Aviation Ground Handling Companies in Nigeria.
Agba sir, my main purpose of this message is: Why do I have a soft spot for women? (This is a question I have always asked myself.)
I want to marry right and well; I want to get it right in marriage. I want to be a dad; I want to be present for my children.
I want to be a loving husband to my God-ordained wife, but sir, I get scared if I'd ever find a woman I'd love so much to that point.
I'm presently not in a relationship, and my main concern is that I am not financially stable, I don't have a place of my own yet as I still stay with my mom, and I'm currently earning 200k, which is barely enough.
Agba, this message is scattered because I feel like talking to a dad. I want to be taught; I want to learn from you: how did you do it? How did you know your wife was the one? How did you become a man who could have a family of his own and provide for them?
Back at my workplace last year, I joined the company. I liked this girl a lot; she was a colleague. But she kept telling me, "I like you," and said she was in a relationship and wouldn't want to double-date.
And there's another colleague of mine, a guy, who she became friends with and got so close that I would feel jealous and angry inside, but he'd always maintain that they were just friends, and so on...
To cut it short, I was upgraded to a new department through an internal vacancy I applied for in December last year, 2025, and I officially resumed on June 3, 2026.
So this my friend who got close to this said lady, just messaged me yesterday and started telling me how he had uselessed her, had sex with her and dumped her for a new girl he just met.
Since yesterday, I have just been thinking about why I have a soft spot for people I like, looking forward to something good, but along the way, it doesn't turn out well.
Finally, sir, how would I know which one is right for me? I am sincerely asking as a son to a father.
Warm regards,
*His name*.
I need everyone to please advise him on my behalf.
End.
No matter how kind you are as a man, or how good a provider you are as a husband, it doesn't guarantee perfection.
There's always going to be at least one man out there whom your woman admires more than she admires you.
And she may even feel sexually attracted to him, sometimes.
But she just chose to stay "loyal" to you.
Because she is in control of her feelings.
End.