God: so im making u gay :D
Me: :D
God: that’s a sin btw :((
Me: D:
God: I’m also making u trans :D
Me: :D
God: that’s a mega sin btw :( straight to super hell :((
cats being capable of understanding accidents and even giving you a little head bonk to let you know you're still cool makes it infinitely funnier that they don't understand when you're trying to help them
cats when you step on their tail: i'll admit that was rather ouchie, but given the lifetime of goodwill and trust between us, one must conclude this booboo is but a fluke.
cats when you try to get their claws unstuck from the couch covering: this nefarious bitch has never had a single honorable intention in their dishonest and shameful life, this must be one of their sinster plots or perhaps even an attempt on my life,