The real reason i hate getting close to people is because i can only keep up the facade for so long until they realize i’m a total piece of shit desperately pretending to be a good person
Like sometimes i just feel that who I am as a person is not conducive to the type of happy ending required to live a joyful & fulfilling life. Maybe I’m just too unstable and anxious and emotionally all over the place to ever find peace in this life.
Sometimes I really wonder if love is just too powerful of a feeling for an emotionally stunted guy like me to handle. Maybe not all people were meant to be happy. idk.
sometimes i genuinely consider just saying fuck it, getting in my car, and leaving behind everybody and everything without warning on some jack nicholson in five easy pieces type shit. just like peacing out never to be seen again. idk the thought is just so therapeutic.