jordan

[jordan @KmiecJordan]

okay he’s dead anyone know what we do next? we bury him. wrong. EH. check for an organ donor card if he has one we only have minutes to harvest. he has no wallet i checked. he is an organ donor. he is? get me some ice and a styrofoam bucket. here we go. DWIGHT

[jordan @KmiecJordan]

I go through the five stages of grief at least twice a day

[jordan @KmiecJordan]

when are boys gonna realize the longer it takes them to respond the longer I have to think about how fucking stupid you are and how I’m way too good for u

[jordan @KmiecJordan]

I am hot men r stupid that is all

[jordan @KmiecJordan]

@coraa_thomas Look at least I’m acknowledging that I’m stupid 😂

[jordan @KmiecJordan]

can’t believe I have the audacity to cry over a boy who thought I was xraying teeth all day when I told him I was working in the ortho clinic SOMEONE PUNCH ME IN THE FACE PLEASE

[jordan @KmiecJordan]

I know I could trust the random girls at the coffee shop that I asked to watch my stuff while I go to the bathroom WITH MY LIFE

[jordan @KmiecJordan]

I can’t remember the last time I got sick but now I feel like I’m dying and I don’t have my mom to take care of me??? wack

[jordan @KmiecJordan]

PUMPED

[Midland @MidlandOfficial]

Texas, we've added another date in College Station at @harrysbcs on the Last Resort Tour. Tickets are going fast. See y'all in a few weeks Feb 8 & 9. Grab your spot here: https://t.co/iryntydnZI #TheLastResort 🍹🍹

[jordan @KmiecJordan]

when Taylor said I just miss u and I just wish u were a better man, I felt that

[jordan @KmiecJordan]

the feminine urge to go to a bar and get drunk by myself

[jordan @KmiecJordan]

a true healthcare hero

[jordan @KmiecJordan]

every patient: I have been having chest pain for five days. I think I’ll wait to come in until Christmas Eve <3

[jordan @KmiecJordan]

Just found out he’s been married almost as long as I’ve been alive and I’m sick

[jordan @KmiecJordan]

I don’t care that kevin costner is 60+ years old I really think we could make it work

[jordan @KmiecJordan]

@taylorgrove07 @brendanmcbride_ okay good

[jordan @KmiecJordan]

can the only two people who ever interact with my tweets let me know if they wanna go see @pecos_rooftops on december 3rd okay thank you

[jordan @KmiecJordan]

calculus makes me wanna calkillmyself haha am I right whose with me

[jordan @KmiecJordan]

you’re telling me the term is “prima donna” and not “pre Madonna”

[jordan @KmiecJordan]

PLEASE DONT BE IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE

[jordan @KmiecJordan]

uugH