Kmillay

[Kmillay @Kmillay4]

Ex: I don't like riding horses. I like to ride brainless things.
Me: I have some tragic news for you then....
His parents who I forgot were in the car: LMFAO!!
Me: 😳🙀🙀🙀

[Kmillay @Kmillay4]

Ftw, when you recall that moment you mortally embarrassed yourself in front of an Ex's parents.
Guess what, they still liked me better than his now wife.

[Kmillay @Kmillay4]

We got a pair of grapefruits and damn they be ripe! 👀👌

[Kmillay @Kmillay4]

It's okay, it's only taken me 189,999 attempts to parallel park....don't look at me.

[Kmillay @Kmillay4]

Same girl, saaaame.

"Fiona the Hippo reaches weight gain milestone" https://t.co/dqVxXB1sZ2

[Kmillay @Kmillay4]

It's amazing how much of a wuss one becomes when they have to pay for their own healthcare.

[Kmillay @Kmillay4]

You ever start liking somebody but you're both so guarded because of past shit that you start thinking, "do I actually like them or just their dick?" 🤔🤔
And then they do some cute shit and you just get more knotted about it all.
I need Taco Bell.

[Kmillay @Kmillay4]

@Trinexity Don't you threaten gram gram she is a lovely woman!
*Whispers* Amy, we'll get her when she's sleeping.

[Kmillay @Kmillay4]

"Beat him with a used condom."
#thingsmyfriendsandisay

[Kmillay @Kmillay4]

Here’s my year in emoji: #HappyNewYear #MyEmojiYear

[AMAYA @wilberamaya77]

Y’all gotta watch this lmao

[Kmillay @Kmillay4]

While friend is driving...

Friend: "Should I hit him?"
Me: "Do it."
Friend: "Who let you have carbs today?"

Because apparantly carbs make me murderous.

[Kmillay @Kmillay4]

"My text totally made sense! See it...oh."
#lifebloopers