Nifemi Dosunmu

[Nifemi Dosunmu @Kneephemee]

I have a friend who whenever is babe bills him, he has to liquidate investments to settle her. Technically the more she bills him, the more he loses interest.

[Nifemi Dosunmu @Kneephemee]

The price of cows has been going up strongly for a while now.
Which makes sense; cos it's a bullish market.

[Nifemi Dosunmu @Kneephemee]

My impression of a Boston Gangsta seeing his opps in Ikeja City Mall
Boston Gangsta (pointing at Ikeja City Mall): Yo yo, I see 'em.

[Nifemi Dosunmu @Kneephemee]

In UNILAG there's always a party. Today New Hall, tomorrow Gbaja, next tomorrow Queen Amina. Those guys switch parties more than Peter Obi sef.
Maybe that's why he's the Nations First Choice.

[Nifemi Dosunmu @Kneephemee]

@Call_Me_Bastian @NigeriaStories Where do you live?

[Nifemi Dosunmu @Kneephemee]

@chesscom All moves are unpresentable,
cxd3, dxc4, cxd5, dxc6, cxd7, dxc8=N#

[Nifemi Dosunmu @Kneephemee]

It's exhausting when I meet someone who hates poor people. Now I have to convince them to like me.

[Nifemi Dosunmu @Kneephemee]

My rich friend asked me if I use Zenith Bank because my account is always red.

[Nifemi Dosunmu @Kneephemee]

One thing Nigeria and I have in common is we are both insecure.

[Nifemi Dosunmu @Kneephemee]

Laundry workers in Swaziland protested against employers by leaving the equipment on such as Washing machines, Driers, Irons, Computers etc and not working, in a bid to inflate energy costs as part of the protest.
Its safe to say that they are striking while the iron is hot.

[Nifemi Dosunmu @Kneephemee]

South Africa is going through a period of political tension. As you know they have a huge Igbo population and the Xenophobia really splits the nation, some say it boost the economy, some claim they are taking jobs.
You know there's nothing more Igbo than dividing a nation.

[Nifemi Dosunmu @Kneephemee]

I tried to teach my atheist friends exponentials, but they don't understand the concept of a higher power.

[Nifemi Dosunmu @Kneephemee]

Workers on strike in Myanmar protested against the elites and claimed they were dissociating themselves from those at the top by cutting their corporate wears.
Seems like they were cutting ties.

[Nifemi Dosunmu @Kneephemee]

I write jokes about smokers, but they end prematurely.
For a long time I tried to understand why someone would continue to choose something actively trying to kill them; then I thought about Nigerian voters.

[Nifemi Dosunmu @Kneephemee]

The country of Nigeria getting scammed by an actual Nigerian Prince was not on my bingo card for 2026.

[Nifemi Dosunmu @Kneephemee]

While there was some form of stable peace deal between the US and Iran which has capitulated, for the duration of the blocked of the key water way, only Iranian ships where in the water way.
I think it only make sense that there are no gays in the Straight of Hormuz.

[Nifemi Dosunmu @Kneephemee]

I think dating gay lawyers should be illegal. Cos technically, you are bending the law.

[Nifemi Dosunmu @Kneephemee]

@_onlyscott Bellingham

[Nifemi Dosunmu @Kneephemee]

I should crack more jokes about bisexuals, but then again, they could go either way.

[Nifemi Dosunmu @Kneephemee]

@UTDIMole Di Maria