Sid Fictitious

I often wonder how much better I would actually be than everyone else if I didn't have an ego.

[Sid Fictitious @KnoxZiegler]

@danicawalker26 Protocol

[Sid Fictitious @KnoxZiegler]

I'm finally starting to realize that people in my life just want me to be the man they always hoped I'd stop trying to pretend I told everyone I thought I wasn't.

[Sid Fictitious @KnoxZiegler]

There's this incredible, exciting, limitless, almost unrecognizable version of myself inside who's just one epiphany away from realizing I need to come down to earth and face reality for once in my fucking life.

[Sid Fictitious @KnoxZiegler]

@AlexGon33444190 @xrp_owl Happened to me last night and I was on hold with coinbase for 2 hours today before they hung up on me. What are we supposed to do? This must happen to a lot of people.

[Sid Fictitious @KnoxZiegler]

@modubz Same happened to me last night with xlm. I was on hold with coinbase for 2 hours before they just hung up. There's nowhere to email either. What can we do?

[Sid Fictitious @KnoxZiegler]

I'm always asking myself, 'what if the world revolves around me?'.

I feel like it keeps me grounded.

[Sid Fictitious @KnoxZiegler]

If I had kids I'd want them to understand that there are literally no lengths I wouldn't go to make sure they had no way of ever finding me.

#Literally

[Sid Fictitious @KnoxZiegler]

Sagittarius horoscope for today 1/12/24:

You feel like Mumford and Sons could just be two guys for the particular brand of stomp folk they make, but then you also realize that would never hold up as a legitimate defense in a murder trial.

#Horiscope
#Sagittarius

[Sid Fictitious @KnoxZiegler]

I can't remember the last time I ate sushi off of a naked person's body following a violent payote escapade.

Let this be my sign to get all my affairs in order in preparation for my inevitabley imminent demise.

[Sid Fictitious @KnoxZiegler]

If you don't have great linen pants for the summer, you're gay.

[Sid Fictitious @KnoxZiegler]

One way to take back your power is to tell everyone that your penis is larger than theirs.

[Sid Fictitious @KnoxZiegler]

I hate doing comedy, but it's what I'm relatively good at so, unfortunately, I have to do it.

My real passion though, is doing data entry at a large accounting firm, preferably with a very proactive HR department.

[Sid Fictitious @KnoxZiegler]

My friend loves the banter he has with his fellow comics.

They come from all backgrounds, but there are no holds barred when it comes to roasting each other.

He does draw a hard line on them going after his tendency to be racist though.

He's extremely sensitive about that.

[Sid Fictitious @KnoxZiegler]

If there's one thing I've learned about women, it's that they will always be irresistibly attracted to a man who is constantly practicing the skill of processing all of his emotions.

[Sid Fictitious @KnoxZiegler]

Having a child makes you put someone else's needs above your own, and also makes you care about another human being more than yourself.

Honestly, it doesn't get any gayer than that.

[Sid Fictitious @KnoxZiegler]

@shabdyoga Thanks!

[Sid Fictitious @KnoxZiegler]

If you haven't become your ideal self after one week on my life coaching program, I will give 25% of your money back and completely move myself, my family, my dogs and my things out of your house within 60 days no questions asked.

The incense smell might linger a little though.

[Sid Fictitious @KnoxZiegler]

As long as there's breath in your lungs, there's hope. In fact, even if there's no breath left, your soul always has hope, no matter what your accountant says.

[Sid Fictitious @KnoxZiegler]

The kid who lives next door to me was really down because he got dumped, so I sat him down and explained to him that if he picks any two objects in the room, I can make up a rap on the spot that incorporates both of those objects & the thing he fears most about being alone.

[Sid Fictitious @KnoxZiegler]

Remember guys if you want her to want you, more important than anything else, you need to convey a feeling of safety when she's around you. This is almost as important as knowing that for her to be sexually attracted to you she has to feel a strong sense of danger.