And I think my biggest fear isn’t even the hardship itself. It’s losing the person I’m trying to become because of it.
I hope there’s still hope. I hope I don’t lose me.
Above all else, I’ve always wanted to be at peace within myself.
A peaceful base at the core of my being. A place where, no matter what happens, I can still return to myself.
My goal was never to avoid feeling sadness, anger, or pain. Those emotions are part of being human. I just wanted them to stay on the surface. I wanted the core of me to remain calm, peaceful, and happy.
Lately, that has felt like a struggle.
I tweet for me boo 😭 Twitter for the OGs was basically a diary. We wasn’t sitting around chasing engagement . You just had a thought, tweeted it, and kept scrolling. If somebody saw it, cool. If they didn’t, oh well 😂 Twitter originally wasn’t even about likes like that. It was just people broadcasting their random ass thoughts into the universe.
I was talking to my mum this morning about the rain that fell in my area. I asked if it had rained where she was, and she said no, but maybe it would the next day.
I jokingly said, “I pray it falls at midnight so you’ll have sweet sleep.”
She laughed and replied,
The rain I see as comfort may be a source of worry for another person.
So yes, pray for yourself. Pray boldly. Pray specifically. But also remember to pray with compassion, knowing that we're all standing in different places in life.