Koreydior

😐

[Koreydior @Koreydior_]

I stuttered 4 times at the
drive thru and just drove off

[Koreydior @Koreydior_]

Overnight Oats sounds like the
name of a racehorse who sucks

[Koreydior @Koreydior_]

That one leg out the blanket will really cool your whole body down

[Koreydior @Koreydior_]

Olives are the perfect snack
for anyone who loves the
taste of drowning at sea

[Koreydior @Koreydior_]

if you have to give me CPR and your breath stinks just let me die

[Koreydior @Koreydior_]

once you reach a certain age if you pull an all-nighter, you die

[Koreydior @Koreydior_]

You never look drunker than when
you've just knocked over a glass and you're trying to explain it's not due to your alcohol consumption

[Koreydior @Koreydior_]

When u get shampoo in ur eye and
wonder what the name of ur quide
dog will be

[Koreydior @Koreydior_]

I wonder if a murderer has ever crossed my path, contemplated murdering me, and then thought
"nah"

[Koreydior @Koreydior_]

Cats are the type of animals
that, if they could, they would correct your grammar.

[Koreydior @Koreydior_]

Imagine being completely naked in a room full of people who speak a
different language and all want to touch you. This is the life of a dog.

[Koreydior @Koreydior_]

Short people consume less food, require less clothing material, and a larger number of them can fit on earth. Theyre basically eco friendly, sustainable humans

[Koreydior @Koreydior_]

You're probably ugly if a stranger ask you for a cigarette and you're not smoking one

[Koreydior @Koreydior_]

[Realizing I have an appointment in 5 hours] well there goes my whole day.

[Koreydior @Koreydior_]

Going out with people who don't know when to go home is the worst

[Koreydior @Koreydior_]

You ever get post meal clarity? You just be sitting there like "dam I probably could’ve ordered a medium"

[Koreydior @Koreydior_]

I once worked with someone who told customers "sorry, it's my first day!" any time they messed up. for 2 years straight

[Koreydior @Koreydior_]

I never feel closer to someone than when we both want to leave a social
gathering at the same time

[Koreydior @Koreydior_]

I used to draw tf out of a Sun in the corner of a paper when I was a kid.

[Koreydior @Koreydior_]

Receptionist at the dentist office will look u dead in the eye and ask if ur available 4 months and 13 days from now