Kornheiser Quotes

Tony Kornheiser Radio Show quotes

[Kornheiser Quotes @KornheiserQuips]

Elon Musk is a cancer on society. An error in this app- imagine that? - is preventing me from deleting this account, but will try again later

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Nigel: “Alberto Fernandez”
Tony: “Is the teammate with the sex tape?”
Nigel: “No, that’s the leader of Argentina. He may have a sex tape that I am unaware of”

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France has this great player Karim Benzema who last time in the World Cup wasn’t allowed to play, he was exiled, because of his participation in a plot to extort a teammate over a sex tape. A teammate! That makes him almost as bad a teammate as Kyrie Irving.

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At this point, if owned and ran the Brooklyn Nets, a borough of New York City with a significant Jewish population, I would Keyshawn this guy. I would say I’ll pay you whatever I have to pay you, but you are never playing here again.

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Kyrie Irving is endorsing hate speech. There is no other way to look at it. When he says “I am an omnist” - whatever in God’s name an omnist is, and “I respect everybody”, he is endorsing hate speech

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I don’t have a staff! It’s Nigel! Do you think there is a lot of people? Do you think it’s the Le Batard show? No

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I got a problem with the State University of New York deciding to make Stony Brook - that dump, Stony Brook! - the official school of the State University of New York and the University of New York.

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We’re not putting in German board games ahead of Bingo!

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Let me get to what I thought would be the main thrust of what we talked about in the open today, and that is cottage cheese at the Refugee Safeway

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I was going to go on and on and on about everything with sea salt in it, but I’ll do that some other day

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I’m not going to try to insult Applebee’s on any level. I’ve never eaten in an Applebee’s, but I’m sure it’s fine.

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Carville: Do you have a line on Montana State and North Dakota State?

TK: Of course not! Montana State North Dakota State, what is that?!?

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I’ve got 5000 shirts. I’m not buying anymore shirts. That’s it, I’ve bought my last shirt

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It took me a long time to learn to put gas in the car

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Does Robert Berg need to know what your underpants are?

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I hate Ben and Jerry’s ice cream.They don’t make single flavours. Make a good chocolate or good vanilla or good coffee or good strawberry and don’t jazz it up with codfish.

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I’ve never been to a Zaxby’s. I’ve never been to a Sonic. I’ve never been to a Johnny Rockets.

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Is baldness considered an underlying condition?

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Chalk is not a toy. The next time there is a dead body and they outline it in chalk, find out how many people say ‘could you bring that toy over here?’

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He says "No, I'm renting this car." I say "What do you mean?". He says "It's an app." I say "What do you mean?" He says "It's an app called Getaround"