Kory A. Mellen

My sense of humor smells like dirty potty

[Kory A. Mellen @Kory_Mellen]

I had enough time to write an entire LOTR movie score in the Jack In The Box drive thru. #SoggyTacos

[Kory A. Mellen @Kory_Mellen]

My tweets suck bruh I get it ima unfollow all of you when I’m famous, except for @ridgesoccer10

[Kory A. Mellen @Kory_Mellen]

Clean

[Out Of Context Football @nocontextfooty]

https://t.co/vc8IRU8nvd

[Kory A. Mellen @Kory_Mellen]

If Tim McGraw ever dies, I’m changing my name to Seymour Butkus and moving to Nova Scotia.

[Football Bible ™️ @FBBible_]

The shoes 😭

https://t.co/l3hTvtjk63

[Kory A. Mellen @Kory_Mellen]

Just nollied into my feelies 😤 who tf took my heelies 😤

[Kory A. Mellen @Kory_Mellen]

@austinarchey_ (Slow heavy metal music)

[Kory A. Mellen @Kory_Mellen]

This dude @ridgesoccer10 spits the most fire bars bro, he on the come up and y’all ain’t ready

[Kory A. Mellen @Kory_Mellen]

@nocontextfooty Clean

[Kory A. Mellen @Kory_Mellen]

Just farted in public RIP to the 5 year old walking behind me

[HasbullaHive 🐐 @HasbullaHive]

no one:

birds at 6 am:

[Kory A. Mellen @Kory_Mellen]

Real men don’t cry??? Well I bet you’ve never gotten the bad ending in Red Dead Redemption 2.

[Kory A. Mellen @Kory_Mellen]

so a car just had a tire blowout on the freeway and my headass said “damn that blows” and then later realized the dad joke I made and started chuckling. No one was in the car with me.

[Kory A. Mellen @Kory_Mellen]

Just woke up from my nap with an unrelenting urge to beat the shit outta that ugly ass lion from Narnia

[sarah lugor! @sarahlugor]

this specific scene is spongebob changed the trajectory of my life

[Kory A. Mellen @Kory_Mellen]

Bruh every player on the Padres is jacked af but please chill out on the lifting and let the boys do some batting practice 😂