コスナー

愛 don’t compromise yourself for the sake of others

[the thicc husband & father @lukeisamazing]

it’s a sign of deep respect in our culture

[BENZO-KAZOOIE @BENZOTOOIE]

“NOOOOOOO YOU CAN’T PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT CARDS I’VE USED, THAT’S CARD COUNTING!!! USING STRATEGY IS AGAINST THE RULES!!! YOU CAN ONLY USE BLIND LUCK!!! SECURITY!!!!!!!!!”

[6ɪx✦ @ok6ixx]

There's a new guy at work and he's been here maybe two weeks and we're in a meeting and my boss is talking about quarterly goals or whatever and she goes "we really need to circle back to customer retention" and this guy raises his hand and goes "I have a question" and my boss is like yes and he goes "why do you always say circle back?" and the whole room goes quiet and my boss is like what and he goes "you say it like every meeting is there a reason we're going in circles why don't we just go forward" and someone coughs and he's still going "like I've been keeping track you've said it eighteen times in two weeks" and my boss just stares at him and goes "have you never worked in an office before" and he goes "I have but nobody said circle back this much it feels aggressive" and I swear my boss aged five years and she goes "it's just a phrase" and he goes "okay but like why circles" and she just moved on with the meeting. He got let go during his probation period today and I heard him ask HR if it was because of the circle thing.

[Ienka @ankyhaidy]

sir this is a wendy’s. an evil wendy’s where we touch you

[claire @rosiekennedyxx]

when the kid that’s been running around the restaurant for the past hour finally hits his head on a table

[frost 🇺🇲 @Maidcel1488]

LMFAO

[swinky @swinkying]

Little old man boy

[skooks @skooookum]

Time to DoorDash a Gatorade #NoTip

[Hank Williams Jr. enjoyer @S0uthern_man]

This bar cut off the wrong white boy

[十筆斎 @jissunboshi96]

パスタにタバスコをかけすぎたアザラシを描きました。

[⛓️Little Miss Big Butt⛓️ @GothTransFem]

this genuinely might be the funniest tweet of all time

[յոլա եմ գնում @HechLavChem]

Come back from every first date more in love with my ex than I was before

[trap @blattreligion]

U ate a sausage then u came and talked to the boss???