Chris Koslowski

Writer, Teacher, Instructional Designer; MFA Grad @SCMFA; Debut novel KAYFABE available now from @mcsweeneys; Confidently fogposting

[Chris Koslowski @KozlowRazor]

DST discourse remains one of the hottest baits on this website. As someone who grew up in the western part of EST, my opinion is definitive. No one. No one here, wants perma standard time. It’s the worst option. Michigan loves its 9:00pm sunsets. Pry them from my cold dead hands

[Chris Koslowski @KozlowRazor]

@ShaneRyanHere Let’s go! Ole ole ole ole. Riga Riga Riga. Ole ole ole.

[Chris Koslowski @KozlowRazor]

@ShaneRyanHere I still believe!

[Chris Koslowski @KozlowRazor]

@candyrootlodge

[Chris Koslowski @KozlowRazor]

@caddietales Mark, how do your loops divide among the courses? What factors contribute to that? How much of it is your choice? Love your updates!

[Chris Koslowski @KozlowRazor]

@candyrootlodge Hit me up day one, Candyroot! I cannot wait! 🍬

[Chris Koslowski @KozlowRazor]

@NoLayingUp I know y’all need takes for the pod but can one of the takes tonight be “maybe the Green Jackets know what they’re doing?” This is THEATER.

[Chris Koslowski @KozlowRazor]

@TronCarterNLU TC TC we need a call in tonight. If P and Tommy are tied who do you ride with the rest of the week!?

[Chris Koslowski @KozlowRazor]

@PinehurstResort @ShaneRyanHere Thank you, Putter Boy, for recognizing this Important Work.

[Chris Koslowski @KozlowRazor]

@ShaneRyanHere Rig Head merch please. Dozens of us would buy it. Dozens!

[Chris Koslowski @KozlowRazor]

@ShaneRyanHere The app is figuring out that I want this first in my feed during my mid-morning bathroom break. Best thing this platform has done in years.

[Chris Koslowski @KozlowRazor]

@Amtrak CHOO CHOO!

[Chris Koslowski @KozlowRazor]

I can’t believe they would show something this HORRIFYING to CHILDREN at CHRISTMAS!!

[Chris Koslowski @KozlowRazor]

Salute to our brave antifog soldiers across the globe. You may be persecuted now, but remember, service = citizenship.

[Chris Koslowski @KozlowRazor]

“Opalite?” Opaque? Unclear? FOGGY!? The signs are everyone if only you open your eyes to see. 👀

[Chris Koslowski @KozlowRazor]

FRIENDS—This Halloween Season, you may be tempted by promises of spooky, seasonal ambience to purchase a so-called “fog machine.” BEWARE. DO NOT BUY THIS PRODUCT. If you need a reminder, just ask yourself—Would you purchase a “death machine?”

[Chris Koslowski @KozlowRazor]

At long last the Truth will finally be revealed! The World will discover that this American hero was a tragic victim to our most insidious villain…THE FOG. Thank you for this selfless clearing of the air, President Trump. May God Bless You And These United States.

[Chris Koslowski @KozlowRazor]

@BrendonOConnell Wholesome.

[Chris Koslowski @KozlowRazor]

Worried about our brave men and women of the National Guard patrolling Foggy Bottom in our nation’s capital. Truly the epicenter of our war on opaque air. Godspeed soldiers.

[Chris Koslowski @KozlowRazor]

Heard a story on NPR yesterday about New Buffalo, MI - aka “New Puffalo” after the booming marijuana business. A sober reminder to all — marijuana can cause brain fog. And trust me, the fog is just as dangerous inside your brain as it is outside.