K. Razee Panda

I have a recognizable/certifiable high pitched voice. Its been described as Elmo on Helium. I don't get out much.

[K. Razee Panda @KrazeePanda]

Experiencing flatulence while cleansing your anus is not only funny....Its quite common among males age 13-75. #science

[K. Razee Panda @KrazeePanda]

These packets of Cialis have kept the table from rocking for 4.5 hours now. Time for concern?

[K. Razee Panda @KrazeePanda]

Sweetly hit on by a 60 yr old woman wearing a SARS mask....tempted for sure.....but retreated to my cavern and streaming Netflix account.

[K. Razee Panda @KrazeePanda]

Ill eat a half dozen sour cream donuts before dawn. What will YOU do today?

[K. Razee Panda @KrazeePanda]

You say ISIL, I say ISIS. Lets call the whole thing off....

[K. Razee Panda @KrazeePanda]

From the "In MY Hood" series: Helicopter search light often mistaken for full moon.

[K. Razee Panda @KrazeePanda]

God DAMN these feet are high maintenance.

[K. Razee Panda @KrazeePanda]

I don't like piña coladas OR rain now leave me the hell alone.

[K. Razee Panda @KrazeePanda]

If you want me to orally sext you, you're gonna have to actually make a call. #ittakestwo

[K. Razee Panda @KrazeePanda]

Naww baby, I swear I was referrin to da poorly timed arrival of an internal hemorrhoid when I shouted "COLD, HEARTLESS BITCH !" last night

[K. Razee Panda @KrazeePanda]

The 3 is broken on microwave...my life is over

[K. Razee Panda @KrazeePanda]

I hate my neighbors. My neighbors are all people. Therefore, I hate all people.

[K. Razee Panda @KrazeePanda]

My '07 wife would play the Let's see how many times I can clink the ice cream dish with this spoon before he notices me game. 642 r.i.p.

[K. Razee Panda @KrazeePanda]

@IamEnidColeslaw how was it? (your pizza, I mean)

[K. Razee Panda @KrazeePanda]

Evolution has provided me with a second set of eyelids capable of blocking out all Christmas lights and/or reflections off shiny balls

[K. Razee Panda @KrazeePanda]

This white plywood moose in a nativity scene is taking "interpretation" just a wee bit too far.

[Jeff @usedwigs]

Upcoming Jason Statham Movies:
- The Crime Job
- The Guy Fighter
- The Car Driver
- Fist & Chips
- Snog
- Plunk
- Cockney & Racy

[K. Razee Panda @KrazeePanda]

Folgers, In the spirit of repurposing, would you be interested in purchasing my dialysis filters?

[K. Razee Panda @KrazeePanda]

Even the ducks won't eat these salt free pretzels. What the hell was I thinking?

[K. Razee Panda @KrazeePanda]

These glutes were made for pinching