Kris Bapple

something is always happening

[Kris Bapple @KrisBapple]

escaped my mother via conveniently timed afternoon margs invite from my cousin #GODISGOOD

[Kris Bapple @KrisBapple]

moving discovery: my roommate’s boyfriend threw his used zyns behind the couch for seemingly all 2.5 we lived here… what a gentleman…

[Kris Bapple @KrisBapple]

this lunch is about to HIT

[Kris Bapple @KrisBapple]

and we’re still packing up my tiny ass apartment after 5 hours https://t.co/5nwAQwyGG9

[Kris Bapple @KrisBapple]

@saltwatermp3 as someone with a medieval history degree this is devastating and cruel

[Kris Bapple @KrisBapple]

when i was 12 i tried illegally streaming death note and i accidentally clicked on a pop up for a certain adult website which led me to slam my chromebook shut and live in fear that somehow my parents would find out and think i was watching porn

[Kris Bapple @KrisBapple]

trying to watch real housewives on some random website and popups with boobs keep spamming my screen

[Kris Bapple @KrisBapple]

discovered a vape shop 2 minutes away from my new apartment

[Kris Bapple @KrisBapple]

one hit tweet and i’m already washed

[Kris Bapple @KrisBapple]

lacrosse segway pipeline finance

[Kris Bapple @KrisBapple]

@venusconjunct it’s okay i got clav like i’m done

[Kris Bapple @KrisBapple]

autistic friend made me take one of those personality tests… #whatdatmean

[Kris Bapple @KrisBapple]

@venusconjunct https://t.co/kfkmxHe1te and then googled what characters have my letters

[Kris Bapple @KrisBapple]

#meanperson

[Kris Bapple @KrisBapple]

actually got a job in the field i want to work in

[Kris Bapple @KrisBapple]

already pissed off and my purse strap decided to get caught on the door handle

[Kris Bapple @KrisBapple]

please nobody pity him truly awful heinous acts against me and he also stole my 90s italian leather oversized coat

[Kris Bapple @KrisBapple]

new photo of the ex just dropped

[Kris Bapple @KrisBapple]

i’ve decided to remain unemployed and move to NYC to become a full-time twitter personality! my hit tweet (11 likes) is more than enough proof that the people want more of me!!!! here i come big city

[Kris Bapple @KrisBapple]

pulling trig to relieve random severe stomach pain

[arch movies 💾 @archmovies]

"i'm not obsessed with sex... just can't stop thinking about it. The performance of it... the awkwardness of it... the drama of it. The moment you realise someone wants your body... Not so much the feeling of it." - Phoebe Waller-Bridge scene from Fleabag