Successful relationships aren’t about two healed people coming together to have the perfect relationship.
They’re about unhealed people having the courage to show the parts of themselves they usually hide.
They’re about unhealed people learning how to ask for help, accept help, and build security.
They’re about unhealed people forgiving themselves and each other over and over again.
They're about unhealed people crying together on the kitchen floor as they repair after conflict.
They're about unhealed people learning how to leave fight or flight.
Giving an avoidant partner reassurance sounds like:
“I understand space is important to you, and any time you need it you can communicate that to me. I’ll respect and honor it. I love you.”
One of the most useful pieces of advice I ever heard, came from an Emergency Room Physician. I was a young Corpsman.
While dealing with a teenager-as I recall-who was involved in a horrible auto accident, and just clinging to life, a nurse was starting to go into an observable tail-spin of frantic thinking.
In the middle of it all, the Dr. paused, placed his hand firmly on the nurses hand, looking her right in the eyes, and very calmly said “It’s his emergency, not yours.”
There was an instant re-set for everyone in the room.
The Dr. knew that if we allowed their emergency to become our emergency, that mistakes would be made, and things would be rushed, or even forgotten.
He knew that the only way you could be at your best, and offer the patient the most, was to let it remain their emergency, while you calmly effectively and efficiently went about doing what you could to save their life.
I used that mindset the rest of my days as a Navy Corpsman, and continue to, this very day.
Let that concept permeate you on a deep level. It’s a life changer.
A new poll of Fox viewers shows they are losing trust in the network now that Dominion revealed private text messages from Fox anchors.
21% of Fox viewers have less trust in Fox. 13% no longer believe the election was stolen after seeing the texts. https://t.co/yeGLe0zRrd
Mature love means understanding:
- your partner isn't responsible for meeting all your needs.
- in order to have a healthy relationship you'll need to develops skills like: open communication, active listening, and self regulation.
- conflict and hurting another is an unavoidable part of the human experience. Learning how to repair (come back together after conflict) is the difference between a healthy and dysfunctional relationship.
- love isn't a fairy tale, it's a process of mutual evolution and a space to heal, together.
@cg_canning Getting stuck in a freeze state can come from many things including: dysfunctional work environments, oppressive systems, lack of meaning or purpose etc. All of these things signal threat to the nervous system. Not individualizing an autonomic response here.
Coloradans know the best way to build a better future is to roll up our sleeves, listen to each other & work together.
That’s the approach our office took in the 117th Congress — and I’m proud that according to a report last week, we enacted the most bills in the entire House!