This 👇 - we need #legalreforms to ensure #DFSV perpetrator accountability; ensure systems, workplaces, cultures support people to address the use of harmful behaviours, heal from their own traumas & STOP perpetrating violence, especially if we are to end violence in 1 generation
The legal system isn't designed to protect women. The legal system was designed when women & children were property of men & that shows in its processes, biases & financial preference for the person who holds wealth & can PAY the system to prioritize them & their ownership
This. But let’s continue to believe we can end men’s violence against women by asking father’s to have better “conversations” with their sons and never holding any of the industries that profit from this to account.
@DrEmmaKatz A light bulb moment was when a Dr highlighted that sexual abuse/assault IS physical violence; hasn't occurred to me before bc we separate the 2 in almost all discussion around DFSV & out the window went the argument, 'i've never raised a hand to you'
@MichaelGLFlood And then there's the 45+ category; any research focusing on the levels of sexual violence/abuse/assaults?
Wonder if the numbers would be terribly different 🤔
It’s been worth the wait!
New issue of #CCChatMagazine has dropped.
✔️Details of an amazing two-day conference
✔️Details of how to participate in research
✔️An interview with the inspirational and insightful @GeraldineBilst1 who also gave the quote of the year.
#coercivecontrol
Ask yourself who you want to be; then identify an action that will help you become that person.
For example, if you want to be a supportive friend, make the effort to schedule a phone call with someone you've lost touch with.
Decision paralysis is a common trauma symptom that can make survivors feel stupid & "weak"-- but you need to know you're absolutely not the first, last, or only survivor to struggle w/ "simple" choices. There's neuropsychology behind it. It's not about intelligence or "will."
Trauma survivors are very often overwhelmingly empathic-- & that empathy very often includes our abusers. Of course it does.
But it's a game changer when our empathy-- which is one of our best qualities-- no longer interferes w/ setting boundaries & holding others accountable.
@GeraldineBilst1 You're insights will be invaluable.
I'd love to hear more about the discussion. I'd also welcome a chat from a child VS (CSA), now adult perspective on healing. I'm keen to hear if this cohort of survivors are being heard bc the service system suggests otherwise. Let's catch up
We live in a world where so much of the messaging we hear is about being better and doing more. What if we choose something different?
What if we decide that who we are, right now, in this moment, is enough?
Often it goes like this:
An abuser grabs your arm and holds your hand painfully close to an open flame.
Society says: have you tried getting support to think away the pain of the heat?
Society doesn't say: let us help to get that abuser to let go of your arm.
USAID Engaging Men for Gender Equality training manual: An excellent manual. Available free among the guides and curricula for face-to-face educational work with men and boys on issues of masculinity, violence, etc. that I've compiled here: https://t.co/W2XJkGhPSO @USAID
This thread is on point in the context of the reported issue and the broader issue of #consent & #accountability, legal systems failures, how we show up as friends, family, colleagues, employers, clubs etc. SA/rape is the end result, not the start, of entrenched attitudes
We need to do more/better at ensuring there is access to specialised therapists/counsellors who can safely support people using violence/abusive behaviours, similarly accessible supports for victims trying to navigate these dynamics
#therapy#Abuser#DFSV