I have seen men buy everything. the car the house the jaw the hair the clothes the wife the friends the table at the restaurant where you cannot get a table. and they walk into a room and the room does not change temperature. nothing moves. the air stays the same. and then some broke guy walks in wearing his dead fathers jacket and the room tilts toward him like he is a prayer being answered, the stone the builders rejected
My sister, the problem with continuously blaming your trauma(s) for all your inadequacies is you eventually end up blaming them for your own inability to change, which is just a colossal failure on your part. Your past is ugly and filthy, but what will you do now?
One of these days, a large comet will hit Earth and destroy almost all life, as has happened many times in the past.
Eventually, the Sun will expand enough to boil the oceans and destroy all life.
Either become a spacefaring civilization or die – those all the two choices.