🌸💗Kyu💗🌸

She/her| ♊ 22

pfp drawn by: @PECOPECOSUPIPI

[🌸💗Kyu💗🌸 @Kyubeyeve]

@gabbanisgorilla Non é abbastanza scuro

[゛ ☆ .ᐟ ⋆ @veinIuvr]

this girl on tiktok got EVERYTHING anybody would want in a man. she dated him for 4 years; perfect dates, reassurance, flowers every week, gifts, FIRST love and FIRST body.

still cheated on her.

"a golden retriever is still a dog" OH MY GODDD

[positivity moon @arrtnem]

who crosses every finish line like they are clocking out of a shift.

You send the email. You submit the assignment. You pass the exam. You sign the contract. People around you say “congratulations.” Your phone lights up with little fireworks and emojis. You smile politely, type “thank you!!” and inside the only thing you feel is a quiet “finally.”

Not pride. Not joy. Just the pressure in your chest dropping from a 9 to a 7.

You stare at the screen for a second, waiting for the moment to hit. That warm swell people talk about. The “I did it” high. Instead your brain already slides sideways into the next problem. Rent in two weeks. That message you owe your friend. The thing you still have not fixed in yourself. The tab in the back of your head that has been blinking red for five years.

Achievement for you is not a party. It is turning off one alarm in a room where twenty others are still blaring.

Somewhere along the way your nervous system learned that tasks are not opportunities, they are threats.
Deadlines are not goals, they are countdowns.
People’s expectations are not invitations, they are landmines.

Of course the dominant feeling when you finish something is relief. The danger is over. For now. Until the next thing with teeth appears.

Maybe you grew up in a house where achievements were not moments, they were shields. Good grades so no one yelled. Clean room so no one made that face. Being “the responsible one” so the adults could keep falling apart at full speed. You did not get taught “wow, you must be proud of yourself.” You got “ok, good, what about the next one.” Gold stars as armor.

Fast forward and now you are 23 or 31 or 42, sitting at your laptop at 21:48, having just done something your teenage self would have screamed over, and you feel exactly like you did after taking the trash out as a kid. One less thing someone can be mad about. That is it.

So when people tell you “you should celebrate your wins,” it almost sounds offensive. Like being told to throw confetti after narrowly dodging a car.

Your toxic trait NOT that you are ungrateful.
It is that your body still believes everything you do is just barely enough to avoid disaster.

Look at how you talk to yourself the second something is finished.

Not “I am proud of me.”
More like “thank god I did not screw that up.”
You do not see a finished project. You see all the imaginary versions where you dropped it, embarrassed yourself, disappointed someone. You see the ones where the email bounced, the client said no, the exam came back with a red F, the crowd laughed. You are not celebrating reality, you are still defending yourself from ghosts.

So the relief you feel is not light. It is that dizzy, sweaty, post adrenaline kind. The one you get when you find your phone after thinking you lost it. Or when the doctor calls back and says the test was fine after all. Your “accomplishment” system is fused with your “almost died” system. No wonder it is complicated.

There is also the treadmill effect.
You do a thing. People clap. Then they ask what is next.

Kids are the rawest example. Little you does something tiny. Draws a picture. Ties a shoe. Everyone loses their mind. You glow for ten minutes. Then you learn that the glow is conditional. That being loved feels suspiciously like being productive. That good performance unlocks warmth, but only for a limited time. You start running further, faster, higher, trying to stay ahead of the expiry date.

At some point your brain updates the code: accomplishment is not a peak, it is the minimum payment. Relief is not joy, it is “I managed not to lose what I already had.”

Graduate. Get the job. Move cities. Finish projects. Hit milestones that other people would frame. And every time, there is that small voice that says “ok, but this is what you were supposed to do anyway.” Nothing feels like extra. Nothing feels like yours. Everything feels like catching up with some invisible version of you who is always ahead

[🌸💗Kyu💗🌸 @Kyubeyeve]

@plasticboy__

[🌸💗Kyu💗🌸 @Kyubeyeve]

@katenmara @plasticboy__

[🌸💗Kyu💗🌸 @Kyubeyeve]

@ratansuu @plasticboy__ DONATELLA VERSACE 💜

[Sailen @Sailen0]

Cat tree tower

[lula ⋆‧°𓏲ּ𝄢 @lulalunee]

Guys I just found Fujimotos drawing of Natalie Portman I’ve never seen this before but I feel like I should show u guys

[OMARVIN @OmarvinG94]

Hello Kitty drip
#chainsawman

[clairesaw man @ sh😼p prep @claireiosity]

chainsaw man x sanrio +

[緑豆。 @gurukousu]

パワちゃん姫パイ絵

[clairesaw man @ sh😼p prep @claireiosity]

chainsaw man x sanrio

[🎀 Peachuu 🎀 @UNNrr_]

💖💜

#魔法少女まどかマギカ #madokamagica

[OMARVIN @OmarvinG94]

Unforgivable.
#chainsawan #チェンソーマン

[MANFUNG @l_manfung]

🖤
#chainsawman #パワー #チェンソーマン

[団子 @uni_520]

マキマ x パワー (?)

[タケウチ リョースケ @ryosuketarou]

四課のみんなでクリスマスパーティー🎅🎉✨✨

[Dino @Dino_illus]

😊