LAUGHBible

Everything that's funny in one place.

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Person is typing... Person is typing... Person is typing... Person is typing... Person is typing... Person is typing... Person says: hi

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When a girl changes in front of you: A) She is really interested in you B) You're level 99 friend zoned C) She's pretty sure you're gay

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My wallet is like an onion. When I open it, I cry.

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Cop: Know why I stopped you? *looks back at trailer full of donkeys* Me: Because I'm.. *lowers shades* Me: Hauling ass

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Dear iPhone, I have typed "hahaha" like a million times, yet you continually give me "hagaha", "bahaha", "gagaha"... I hate you.

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Tired isn't even a temporary state for me anymore.. It's just a part of my personality at this point..

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I'm moody like Squidward. Sometimes selfish like Mr. Crabs. A bit dumb like Patrick. But I'll be there for you like SpongeBob.

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I wish my mind had a delete button.

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I didn't wake up in a new Bugatti this morning, but I'll try again tomorrow

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do u ever just realize how bad ur voice sounds

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When I'm bored, I eat. When I'm happy, I eat. When I'm sad, I eat.

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my mom likes to play this game called yell from 3 rooms away & get upset when i can’t hear her

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Mom: "OMG CLEAN YOUR ROOM! This is MADNESS!" Me: "Madness?! NO. THIS IS SPARTA!!" *Kicks Mom*

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Some people are just beautifully wrapped boxes of bullshit.

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I'm not lazy, I'm on energy saving mode.

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i hate how one minute im perfectly content then the next minute im ready to throw myself in front of a car

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English = Hello. Spanish = Hola. French = Bonjour. Japanese = Konnichiwa. Chinese = Nî Hâo. Italian = Ciao. Me = Sup Bitch?

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Hardest thing ever? Controlling your laughter at serious times.

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*unplugs 100% charged iphone* *slides to unlock* battery 43%

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My Twitter. My Thoughts. My feelings. Fuck what you think.