LF Lifeguard

Confessions of lifeguards who have had enough of patron’s crap, unless it’s in the pool.

[LF Lifeguard @LF_Lifeguard]

Thread:
Many years ago, I was so bored on chair that I made up a lifeguard rap that literally goes to any beat:

I’m a lifeguard
I’ll guard yo life
Yeah you, your kids
and even your wife
I’m sittin’ at pool all day in the sun
Watching all these kids
Making sure they don’t run

[LF Lifeguard @LF_Lifeguard]

I can day without a single doubt that I have the best, outgoing, and respectful staff. How do I make them feel appreciated?

[LF Lifeguard @LF_Lifeguard]

Every time!

[LF Lifeguard @LF_Lifeguard]

It’s been awhile but summer is coming up and I feel like it will be crazier than ever but I am so stoked! Good vibes only with my guards and instructors this summer. Who’s ready??

[LF Lifeguard @LF_Lifeguard]

Right now I have a lot of staff who want to work for me and stay working for me. If someone wants to leave, I will hold the door open because I can find someone who is willing to step up and go the extra mile. I love my current staff with my entire heart.

[LF Lifeguard @LF_Lifeguard]

When a parent comes up to you and asks why the kids were not distanced in the lane when it was HER kids that kept going up to the other kids, ignoring my rules about making sure they are distanced. 8/10 kids followed the rules. Her 2 kids didn’t. (I had two lanes) 🙄🙄🙄

[LF Lifeguard @LF_Lifeguard]

Truth!

[LF Lifeguard @LF_Lifeguard]

@badflowerrose I opened 4/7 mornings one week. The second week I opened 2. When I open I guard 5:30am-3:30pm. Then 3 hours of lessons after that.

[LF Lifeguard @LF_Lifeguard]

If anyone wants to know how my Monday is going: in the past two weeks, I clocked in 117 hours. I’m going on my third straight week of working without a day off. I have had a cold for a week now with no sign of getting better. Pray for me please.

[LF Lifeguard @LF_Lifeguard]

Staffing ✅
Chems ✅
Permits✅
Me: “Ahh all done.”
Pump room:

[LF Lifeguard @LF_Lifeguard]

When a swim meet is live streamed on social media and the guards are not even watching the pool, and they didn’t know they were on camera. Oop.

[LF Lifeguard @LF_Lifeguard]

Me rolling up late for work because I got a coffee on the way:

[LF Lifeguard @LF_Lifeguard]

I manifested it, and it happened. But, I’m lifeguarding full time due to the National lifeguard shortage while also trying to do my AD job as well and THIS BITCH IS TIRED!

[LF Lifeguard @LF_Lifeguard]

Lifeguard->Lifeguard Supervisor ->Head Lifeguard->Aquatics Director. I would like to see it 😉

[LF Lifeguard @LF_Lifeguard]

When someone hits on you while on chair and says “Do I have to drown for you to give me mouth to mouth.” 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

[LF Lifeguard @LF_Lifeguard]

Me: *restrings snapped lane line*
Old lady proceeds to climb OVER said lane line
Me:

[LF Lifeguard @LF_Lifeguard]

Waiting for the raise that we deserve:

[LF Lifeguard @LF_Lifeguard]

My company: “We want you to be the aquatics director.”
Me: “Great! I’m so excited!”
Them: “But we actually want you to lifeguard for 20 hours a week while also being the director for 15.”

[LF Lifeguard @LF_Lifeguard]

You never know how much of an impact you have on a facility until you need to leave and there’s no one else who can work. Looks like the pool will be closed! ✌🏼✌🏼

[LF Lifeguard @LF_Lifeguard]

It’s 8am. I’m vibing and then some stupid patron asks: “who do you think is getting out sooner?” So he doesn’t have to share a lane. JUST FUCKING SWIM BRO! I’m not here keeping a mental track of the lap swimmers and calculating their swim time.

[LF Lifeguard @LF_Lifeguard]

Retweet for good luck!